"if violations are committed, they will be called" Really? By whom??! When have you ever seen or heard a tournament and/or USAL call out a team for player ages when they are grade-based? The reason the Edge boys play at a higher age level in hockey is because hockey (and soccer) have gone to age-based systems of play, and with good reason, mostly for all the same problems you dismiss exist with holdbacks. And these sports are stronger because of it.
Toughen up and stop crying. Edge is playing by the rules, every team has older players, including yours. The boys are in HS now, give it a break. if you don't like it don't play lacrosse. About a third of the college freshman lax players I know have a 20 year old roommate. Sounds like badminton may be a better option for your son. But you'd probably find something to complain about there too
