US Lacrosse Community Forum Forums NORTHEAST LACROSSE BOTC MAIN FORUM (LI, CT, WC) Long Island Yellow Jackets Lacrosse

Greetings from the Oiland you Lax Losers!

I tawt I would share wid ya's the philosophy that us Yellow Jackets instill in our goils when teaching them the highly complex game of lax.

Here are da rules of our game:

1. Always swing towards da head. Making contact wid da head is the best way to instill fear in yer opponents. Head shots always git a high five from da coach.

2. If ya git beat to a ball - dive for their legs. A sharp blow to the back of the knee always gits the results we is looking for.

3. Learn to spit a hocker from at least 10 feet away from da opponent. Dem goils from down south don't know how ta dodge a hocker on da run.

4. Take da butt end of yer stick and jam it into their sides. Sometimes this will crack a rib or two. I have found that hitting da dog in da side wid a stick is really good practice. The intimidation factor on an opponent (or bitches, as we say on the Oiland),always gits results.

5. Scream at da ref ! They is usually just a bunch of fairy guys or butchy old bags. They can be scared into giving you the call. Just remember - we got yer backs if they don't. We parents will let them know they can expect a good butt whipping in the parking lot if the call don't go our way!

6. If da game is tied or we is just up by 1 point - use our famous stall tactic invented by our genius coach for da 2015's. Fall down and start screaming. Since the clock is running, he will just stand there and stare over at ya for about a minute then he will waddle his fat butt over across the field to help ya. Just remember, don't try to git up. Da coach don't like dat. You must lay on da field and chew up that clock. I have seen this work several times - even in back ta back games using the same goil. Remember to practice yer injury and make it last until time runs out.

Well there you have it Lax Losers. The Yellow Jacket secrets to Lax success.

Love ya's all,
Oiland Jack