I don't know what kind of 9th grader you are living with, but the one at my house has no idea if he wants to play in college, no idea what sport (he plays 3) and no idea what type of school (division, size, public/private, rural/urban the list goes on committed to playing a division 1 sport at this point. And, that he knows where he wants to go and also to some extent what he can/cannot major in (for example, very few programs encourage you to be any time of very rigorous major so engineering, pre med etc are out). I played a sport in college and I know what a huge commitment it is, and until my son is 100% in and knows what he wants, he will be happy to just play the sports he loves. I just cannot wrap my mind around this crazy early recruiting and I feel really sorry for the kids that are being pressured in to making such an important decision so early and on). I do understand that every family is very different, but I also find it very hard to believe that any kid (without their dad's pushing) really know what they want at this point. More power to your son if he truly knows that he is 100% decided on what type of school they want to attend
When you say "crazy", "can't wrap my mind around", "very hard to believe", "feel really sorry", you must have a very strong position on the matter, likely from experience. I wonder if you can give one example of a tragic, or even unfortunate, early recruiting story that has played itself out. I only hear of great success stories, or just very typical/average stories that would have occurred with or without an early verbal. I am aware of zero examples of early recruiting affecting a life in a negative manner. But again, with all of your hyperbole, I'm sure you can educate us with some of your crazy, hard to believe, real life examples that compelled you to chime in on a matter that you can't wrap your mind around. Enlighten us, please...
