In my experience, coaches all contacted club or HS coaches to say they were interested. The club coaches give you the name of the coach and his phone number and then you call the coach, but because he cannot call you back, it sometimes takes several tries. With older boy I initially had the boy make the first call or two, but that was a mistake, so I suggest parents make that phone call. Too much pressure on a kid to be calling a coach at 14 or 15. Parents should make the call and have the kid there with you ready to spend 10 minutes with coach on phone.
They discuss grades and generally have a very nice easy conversation.
If they want you, they will ask you to come and visit in person. That first meeting is a show of athletic facility and general conversation about coaches mentality and whether you are a fit both academically and athletically. School tour with coach or with admissions folks.
They left off these meetings (i have been to four with boy) that we love you and want to keep watching and are very interested.
I talked about money in each of the meetings and found the coaches to be generally very up front about what they could or could not do.
For example, in Patriot league schools, some have some athletic money and others do not have any to give. In both cases, there was only need based aid (and for most people reading this I suspect your family makes too much money for need based aid). So if you go patriot, just know that the dollars for sports are very limited and the schools all cost in the $55-$60k range.
So all of this school talk really depends on what your goals are. If it is to get your kid into the best school possible and money is not an issue and your kid isn't the next stud, then I suggest D-3 nescac schools. Some of the best academic institutions in the country--williams, amherst...
If your kid is the stud, then Ivy is choice assuming money is no issue.
If goal is the best possible school at the best possible cost and your kid has high 90 gpa and is a really strong player but not quite the stud of the century, I would focus on the Michigans and the Ohio States of the world, those types of programs offer both atheltic and academic money if they want your son.
If money is no issue and your kid is very good but again not the stud of the century, go patriot. Really good schools and pretty strong D-1 programs. Probably not playing on memorial day weekend, but plenty of good strong lax nonetheless.
The above is based on nothing but my experience and what I have learned. It may not apply to your family but it is the analysis we went through before reaching our decision. So please, no nasty comments, and I am not putting down any school or any family choices that I didn't mention.
one last opinion, I also think early recruiting is a shame. All the 14 year old boys being evaluated like livestock when half of them haven't matured yet--that is the shame part. As far as being able to choose which school is best for your kid, I have been to too many schools to remember with my children. Your kid will love whatever school he goes to for the most part.
But plan your visits well, If you visit Laffayete and then go to Holy Cross and top off the trip to suny albany, your kid will pick one of the first two, and so will you. If you can only afford a toyota or a ford, there is no reason to stop off at mercedez or BMW...
