Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous
If your 7th grader repeats 7th grade in school that is considered a holdback. If that kid then moves from the '27 team to the '28 team to play 7th grade again this is within the rules. NOT CHEATING.

If your current 8th grader moves from the '27 team to the '28 team to play 7th grade again because he intends to holdback at some point in the future this is against the rules. THIS IS CHEATING.

Not a fan of holdbacks but it is within the rules and is very common amongst most top teams. The kids just choosing to play down on a younger grade team is cheating and there is no defense for it. We need to distinguish between these 2 scenarios. The programs cheating in the second scenario should be called out and embarrassed.

"National Team Dad" here again. My son has been playing against "heldback for lax" kids since at least 4th grade if not 3rd when he started club ball. He attends an MIAA school and it is what it is. I don't even intend to complain about it.

My stated point was that the "my son is going to reclass eventually" holdbacks are blatantly illegal.

My unstated point (or "insinuation") was that if holdbacks are no big deal, why do so many parents in our orbit feel compelled to lie about it, or hide their son's birthday away from other kids and parents outside their immediate circle? How many times do I have to see birthdays on the team roster and then have the parents tell me entirely different dates? That's a lot of effort to obscure the truth if holding back Braydenn is "just to make sure he's as competitive as possible." And isn't really about what Mom and Dad get to tell their friends and clients at the country club.

My kids on age but just a question -

Why do you feel entitled to know? Why do you think it’s your business in the first place? You seem super invested in the specifics on other peoples children. Which is weird.

Holdbacks are a thing and aren’t breaking the rules.

I don't feel entitled to anything.

But I'm a parent, a coach, and a former educator as well. The psychology of holdback apologists is very interesting to me in general.

Why not just own it since "holdbacks are a thing and aren't breaking the rules?" Why scrub social media mentions of kids' birthdays and lie to other parents about their age? Talk about super invested and weird....."the world can't know how old my kid is, we need other parents to think he's younger!" "Carsten, stop telling the other kids your age!!! SHhhhh!"

Weirder yet........telling your kids that they have to keep quiet about the fact that you believe they can only compete against little kids.

Want to hold kids back? Cool. Own it. "Yeah my kid is two years older, and so what, he's phenomenal compared to your kid."


Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous
If your 7th grader repeats 7th grade in school that is considered a holdback. If that kid then moves from the '27 team to the '28 team to play 7th grade again this is within the rules. NOT CHEATING.

If your current 8th grader moves from the '27 team to the '28 team to play 7th grade again because he intends to holdback at some point in the future this is against the rules. THIS IS CHEATING.

Not a fan of holdbacks but it is within the rules and is very common amongst most top teams. The kids just choosing to play down on a younger grade team is cheating and there is no defense for it. We need to distinguish between these 2 scenarios. The programs cheating in the second scenario should be called out and embarrassed.

"National Team Dad" here again. My son has been playing against "heldback for lax" kids since at least 4th grade if not 3rd when he started club ball. He attends an MIAA school and it is what it is. I don't even intend to complain about it.

My stated point was that the "my son is going to reclass eventually" holdbacks are blatantly illegal.

My unstated point (or "insinuation") was that if holdbacks are no big deal, why do so many parents in our orbit feel compelled to lie about it, or hide their son's birthday away from other kids and parents outside their immediate circle? How many times do I have to see birthdays on the team roster and then have the parents tell me entirely different dates? That's a lot of effort to obscure the truth if holding back Braydenn is "just to make sure he's as competitive as possible." And isn't really about what Mom and Dad get to tell their friends and clients at the country club.

My kids on age but just a question -

Why do you feel entitled to know? Why do you think it’s your business in the first place? You seem super invested in the specifics on other peoples children. Which is weird.

Holdbacks are a thing and aren’t breaking the rules.


I don't feel entitled to anything.

But I'm a parent, a coach, and a former educator as well. The psychology of holdback apologists is very interesting to me in general. And when a parent tells me in detail about their kid's age and how "surprisingly" big he is, and then an IG reel pops up saying, "TEENAGER NOW!!!!".....it is what it is. Then, mystically, the post disappears ha ha ha.

Why not just own it since "holdbacks are a thing and aren't breaking the rules?" Why scrub social media mentions of kids' birthdays and lie to other parents about their age? Talk about super invested and weird....."the world can't know how old my kid is, we need other parents to think he's younger!" "Carsten, stop telling the other kids your age!!! SHhhhh!"

Weirder yet........telling your kids that they have to keep quiet about the fact that you believe they can only compete against little kids.

Want to hold kids back? Cool. Own it. "Yeah my kid is two years older, and so what, he's phenomenal compared to your kid." "Graysson, you're 2 years older than those kids, take control of the game!"