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Bring Honesty Back
Joined: Jul 2021
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As the summer club season ends, numerous rumors regarding dishonest rostering continue to swirl. Kids playing down an age group regardless of rules, re-classing to a lower grade prior to a major tournament, using guest players both of age and over age, kids playing on two teams in the same tournament, using kids on another team once their team is eliminated from tournament play (again, playing in same tournament for 2 different teams), sharing kids from different club branches (NJ & NY) as team advances through a tournament. I am sure there are many other situations. While the actions are inherently unfair for both the competition as well as players displaced by such actions, many are afraid to speak up as the clubs hold significant leverage in future roster spots and playing time. Put these clubs/coaches on notice that their reputations will be on the line regarding these unfair tactics. Please list the club and age groups you have seen impacted by these tactics, please no player names. Hopefully a public forum will provide a disincentive to cheat by shaming these clubs/coaches into doing the right thing and hopefully this thread will not disappear.

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I don’t know what age group your child is but when your kid is playing in 11th grade(last year of travel); your gonna realize this petty garbage isn’t really that important! Find a hobby!

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lol... by 11th grade (year 6-8 in travel lax) you realize a lot.

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Originally Posted by Anonymous
I don’t know what age group your child is but when your kid is playing in 11th grade(last year of travel); your gonna realize this petty garbage isn’t really that important! Find a hobby!

I agree with this. Most tournaments do not require kids to play exclusively on one team, and do not enforce age or grade. Clubs do what they need to do to win so they can promote their brand. My son was a stud in HS and was constantly getting recruited to play as a guest player on different teams for no cost. It’s what happens. The best thing you can do is make sure your kid works hard and is a kid the coaches want on the field in close games, then you don’t have to worry. Lacrosse is not an honest sport. It is a self serving money grab. If your kid is a good enough player, he/she will be recruited to a better academic school than they would have been able to get into without lacrosse, then you are winner!

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This post is ridiculous. Obviously you’re salty that your kid isn’t that good.

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Like you have to cheat to win? Wow actually rationalizing

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Salty? Or maybe just does not want his 5th grader playing against grown men.

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.

These responses are pretty enlightening: 1) wait till 11th grade, that is when the cheating stops or does not matter; 2) I know better; 3) your kids stinks and you are salty. Some people know the violators. They have decided a win in 5th grade is more important than their reputations. This thread is appreciated because it puts out front a real issue in the game and lets these clubs/coaches know that despite what they want to think, the community knows, and their reputations are on the line. I get it, to a few people on this board, this slippery activity is OK. I think this reflects on you and I suspect and hope you are in the far minority, but with a loud voice.

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Originally Posted by Anonymous
.

These responses are pretty enlightening: 1) wait till 11th grade, that is when the cheating stops or does not matter; 2) I know better; 3) your kids stinks and you are salty. Some people know the violators. They have decided a win in 5th grade is more important than their reputations. This thread is appreciated because it puts out front a real issue in the game and lets these clubs/coaches know that despite what they want to think, the community knows, and their reputations are on the line. I get it, to a few people on this board, this slippery activity is OK. I think this reflects on you and I suspect and hope you are in the far minority, but with a loud voice.

Unfortunately youth lacrosse is permeated with daddy coach / former players that use every single advantage possible to get their kid into any advantageous position possible (hold backs, start early, coach town team, move their kids to teams where friends coach, have their kids play on several teams, you don't like your kids standing on a team.... just create a new team). Worst part about youth lacrosse is the parents. No kid is coming home after school saying... "Mom, can i repeat 8th grade? I will look like a stud against kids a year younger"

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I do not like those aspects as well, but I am not going to tell someone what is best for their own kid. The rules are loose (maybe purposefully) and so long as you do not violate, what are you going to do? What irks me is pre-agreed rules are intentionally violated, like playing a kid below his grade group. I cannot think of another youth sport in the US where rostering age rules are so loose and maybe more importantly, violated, without repercussion.

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My kid doesn't play AAU basketball but I hear thats pretty bad. For those of you who have kids playing AAU and LAX, which is worst? I find it hard to believe that anything is more slimy then youth lacrosse. Love the idea of calling out the Bad People on the forum.

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Originally Posted by Anonymous
Unfortunately youth lacrosse is permeated with daddy coach / former players that use every single advantage possible to get their kid into any advantageous position possible (hold backs, start early, coach town team, move their kids to teams where friends coach, have their kids play on several teams, you don't like your kids standing on a team.... just create a new team). Worst part about youth lacrosse is the parents. No kid is coming home after school saying... "Mom, can i repeat 8th grade? I will look like a stud against kids a year younger"

Geez. You really do sound like a bitter parent that always sees glass half empty and makes excuses when things don’t go their way.

Nothing positive here about dad coaches passion for the game and desire to share that game, sacrificing countless hours to help his kid and his kid’s friends develop and make great memories. Instead you insult the very people likely most responsible for introducing your kid to this great game. Have a little respect or try putting yourself in their shoes to gain perspective.

As for dad’s kid, it’s a 100% natural development process for some kids to outgrow or add additional programs to challenge themselves at a higher level. For others, or maybe in your case, a kid has reached their full potential and or you or your kid doesn't have the connections or additional time to devote to keep pace in your particular situation. In any of these cases, great life lessons to help our kids through now before they’re on their own. And if it’s really a very unfair situation, there’s a life lesson there too.

But please, don’t blame your situation on dad coaches who are devoting their time and energy to help their kid and others kids grow in a game they love and want to share. That’s just crazy.

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Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Unfortunately youth lacrosse is permeated with daddy coach / former players that use every single advantage possible to get their kid into any advantageous position possible (hold backs, start early, coach town team, move their kids to teams where friends coach, have their kids play on several teams, you don't like your kids standing on a team.... just create a new team). Worst part about youth lacrosse is the parents. No kid is coming home after school saying... "Mom, can i repeat 8th grade? I will look like a stud against kids a year younger"

Geez. You really do sound like a bitter parent that always sees glass half empty and makes excuses when things don’t go their way.

Nothing positive here about dad coaches passion for the game and desire to share that game, sacrificing countless hours to help his kid and his kid’s friends develop and make great memories. Instead you insult the very people likely most responsible for introducing your kid to this great game. Have a little respect or try putting yourself in their shoes to gain perspective.

As for dad’s kid, it’s a 100% natural development process for some kids to outgrow or add additional programs to challenge themselves at a higher level. For others, or maybe in your case, a kid has reached their full potential and or you or your kid doesn't have the connections or additional time to devote to keep pace in your particular situation. In any of these cases, great life lessons to help our kids through now before they’re on their own. And if it’s really a very unfair situation, there’s a life lesson there too.

But please, don’t blame your situation on dad coaches who are devoting their time and energy to help their kid and others kids grow in a game they love and want to share. That’s just crazy.

Ok dad coach. We all know the only reason you coach is to get free club for your son and promote him above others who are better. The majority of kids who have a dad coach are exposed come recruiting time because even with all of “daddy’s” help you can’t buy talent

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Listen it’s tryout season and anything you don’t like, you have consumer choice. But please when your son makes a team don’t ask on here about the team. Call the director and ask your questions. If you don’t get a response, that’s a good indication as well. And also ask, prior to trying out who is coaching the team. And ask to speak with the. As well.

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Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Unfortunately youth lacrosse is permeated with daddy coach / former players that use every single advantage possible to get their kid into any advantageous position possible (hold backs, start early, coach town team, move their kids to teams where friends coach, have their kids play on several teams, you don't like your kids standing on a team.... just create a new team). Worst part about youth lacrosse is the parents. No kid is coming home after school saying... "Mom, can i repeat 8th grade? I will look like a stud against kids a year younger"

Geez. You really do sound like a bitter parent that always sees glass half empty and makes excuses when things don’t go their way.

Nothing positive here about dad coaches passion for the game and desire to share that game, sacrificing countless hours to help his kid and his kid’s friends develop and make great memories. Instead you insult the very people likely most responsible for introducing your kid to this great game. Have a little respect or try putting yourself in their shoes to gain perspective.

As for dad’s kid, it’s a 100% natural development process for some kids to outgrow or add additional programs to challenge themselves at a higher level. For others, or maybe in your case, a kid has reached their full potential and or you or your kid doesn't have the connections or additional time to devote to keep pace in your particular situation. In any of these cases, great life lessons to help our kids through now before they’re on their own. And if it’s really a very unfair situation, there’s a life lesson there too.

But please, don’t blame your situation on dad coaches who are devoting their time and energy to help their kid and others kids grow in a game they love and want to share. That’s just crazy.

Ok dad coach. We all know the only reason you coach is to get free club for your son and promote him above others who are better. The majority of kids who have a dad coach are exposed come recruiting time because even with all of “daddy’s” help you can’t buy talent


darn. You’re right. You got me.

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Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Unfortunately youth lacrosse is permeated with daddy coach / former players that use every single advantage possible to get their kid into any advantageous position possible (hold backs, start early, coach town team, move their kids to teams where friends coach, have their kids play on several teams, you don't like your kids standing on a team.... just create a new team). Worst part about youth lacrosse is the parents. No kid is coming home after school saying... "Mom, can i repeat 8th grade? I will look like a stud against kids a year younger"

Geez. You really do sound like a bitter parent that always sees glass half empty and makes excuses when things don’t go their way.

Nothing positive here about dad coaches passion for the game and desire to share that game, sacrificing countless hours to help his kid and his kid’s friends develop and make great memories. Instead you insult the very people likely most responsible for introducing your kid to this great game. Have a little respect or try putting yourself in their shoes to gain perspective.

As for dad’s kid, it’s a 100% natural development process for some kids to outgrow or add additional programs to challenge themselves at a higher level. For others, or maybe in your case, a kid has reached their full potential and or you or your kid doesn't have the connections or additional time to devote to keep pace in your particular situation. In any of these cases, great life lessons to help our kids through now before they’re on their own. And if it’s really a very unfair situation, there’s a life lesson there too.

But please, don’t blame your situation on dad coaches who are devoting their time and energy to help their kid and others kids grow in a game they love and want to share. That’s just crazy.

Ok dad coach. We all know the only reason you coach is to get free club for your son and promote him above others who are better. The majority of kids who have a dad coach are exposed come recruiting time because even with all of “daddy’s” help you can’t buy talent

So, brain surgeon, who do you want to coach your kid in youth lacrosse? You think John Danowski is coming down to coach 5th grade lacrosse? Why to show your lack of intelligence.

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Originally Posted by Anonymous
My kid doesn't play AAU basketball but I hear thats pretty bad. For those of you who have kids playing AAU and LAX, which is worst? I find it hard to believe that anything is more slimy then youth lacrosse. Love the idea of calling out the BadPerson's on the forum.



They are both pretty bad. I said some years back that LAX was turning into AAU.

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Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Unfortunately youth lacrosse is permeated with daddy coach / former players that use every single advantage possible to get their kid into any advantageous position possible (hold backs, start early, coach town team, move their kids to teams where friends coach, have their kids play on several teams, you don't like your kids standing on a team.... just create a new team). Worst part about youth lacrosse is the parents. No kid is coming home after school saying... "Mom, can i repeat 8th grade? I will look like a stud against kids a year younger"

Geez. You really do sound like a bitter parent that always sees glass half empty and makes excuses when things don’t go their way.

Nothing positive here about dad coaches passion for the game and desire to share that game, sacrificing countless hours to help his kid and his kid’s friends develop and make great memories. Instead you insult the very people likely most responsible for introducing your kid to this great game. Have a little respect or try putting yourself in their shoes to gain perspective.

As for dad’s kid, it’s a 100% natural development process for some kids to outgrow or add additional programs to challenge themselves at a higher level. For others, or maybe in your case, a kid has reached their full potential and or you or your kid doesn't have the connections or additional time to devote to keep pace in your particular situation. In any of these cases, great life lessons to help our kids through now before they’re on their own. And if it’s really a very unfair situation, there’s a life lesson there too.

But please, don’t blame your situation on dad coaches who are devoting their time and energy to help their kid and others kids grow in a game they love and want to share. That’s just crazy.

was this downloaded from www.IamaDaddyCoach.com under the Rationalize section?

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If you're reading this thinking to yourself "No, my situation is different"... you are probably one of those terrible parents.

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Dad, not a Dad, It is your choice to join that team. Move your daddy coach discussion to another thread. What is bs is any coach (dad/non dad) that cheats by packing a roster with ineligible kids. It happened at NLF. This is about exposing coaches and clubs that cheat to win.

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Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Unfortunately youth lacrosse is permeated with daddy coach / former players that use every single advantage possible to get their kid into any advantageous position possible (hold backs, start early, coach town team, move their kids to teams where friends coach, have their kids play on several teams, you don't like your kids standing on a team.... just create a new team). Worst part about youth lacrosse is the parents. No kid is coming home after school saying... "Mom, can i repeat 8th grade? I will look like a stud against kids a year younger"

Geez. You really do sound like a bitter parent that always sees glass half empty and makes excuses when things don’t go their way.

Nothing positive here about dad coaches passion for the game and desire to share that game, sacrificing countless hours to help his kid and his kid’s friends develop and make great memories. Instead you insult the very people likely most responsible for introducing your kid to this great game. Have a little respect or try putting yourself in their shoes to gain perspective.

As for dad’s kid, it’s a 100% natural development process for some kids to outgrow or add additional programs to challenge themselves at a higher level. For others, or maybe in your case, a kid has reached their full potential and or you or your kid doesn't have the connections or additional time to devote to keep pace in your particular situation. In any of these cases, great life lessons to help our kids through now before they’re on their own. And if it’s really a very unfair situation, there’s a life lesson there too.

But please, don’t blame your situation on dad coaches who are devoting their time and energy to help their kid and others kids grow in a game they love and want to share. That’s just crazy.

Original author might need a mirror. Also answer why has my kid played on four teams in less than two year, is the kid that stepped into my kids position better and putting in more work, could my parenting be better and try buying into the team system, let my kid sink or swim and learn that way. My daughter just graduated and playing in college and that would be the advise would give to another parent.

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What if the kid that jumped in front of your kid during tournament play was age ineligible? Should everyone ignore and just practice harder? Or do you call a cheat a cheat to clean up the mess.

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Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Unfortunately youth lacrosse is permeated with daddy coach / former players that use every single advantage possible to get their kid into any advantageous position possible (hold backs, start early, coach town team, move their kids to teams where friends coach, have their kids play on several teams, you don't like your kids standing on a team.... just create a new team). Worst part about youth lacrosse is the parents. No kid is coming home after school saying... "Mom, can i repeat 8th grade? I will look like a stud against kids a year younger"

Geez. You really do sound like a bitter parent that always sees glass half empty and makes excuses when things don’t go their way.

Nothing positive here about dad coaches passion for the game and desire to share that game, sacrificing countless hours to help his kid and his kid’s friends develop and make great memories. Instead you insult the very people likely most responsible for introducing your kid to this great game. Have a little respect or try putting yourself in their shoes to gain perspective.

As for dad’s kid, it’s a 100% natural development process for some kids to outgrow or add additional programs to challenge themselves at a higher level. For others, or maybe in your case, a kid has reached their full potential and or you or your kid doesn't have the connections or additional time to devote to keep pace in your particular situation. In any of these cases, great life lessons to help our kids through now before they’re on their own. And if it’s really a very unfair situation, there’s a life lesson there too.

But please, don’t blame your situation on dad coaches who are devoting their time and energy to help their kid and others kids grow in a game they love and want to share. That’s just crazy.

Original author might need a mirror. Also answer why has my kid played on four teams in less than two year, is the kid that stepped into my kids position better and putting in more work, could my parenting be better and try buying into the team system, let my kid sink or swim and learn that way. My daughter just graduated and playing in college and that would be the advise would give to another parent.


there's the forum champion... making the relationship between your kid made a college team and your parenting style. I'm sure when your kid signed the LOI she attributed it to your parenting style.

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Congrats on creating a conversation with yourself, party of one echo chamber.

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Lax should do what soccer and baseball have done going by birth year and not graduation year. That they don't is condoned cheating.

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Originally Posted by Anonymous
Lax should do what soccer and baseball have done going by birth year and not graduation year. That they don't is condoned cheating.

It is not cheating if there are no rules. The clubs own and run the tournaments - exception being the WSYL. While for some reason the very club directors that see and understand the recruiting landscape are the same people moving 12 and 13 year olds around to try to win some meaningless championship. Try not to spend too much worrying about the rules and winning and cheating - focus on your son having a good time and hopefully getting better at lacrosse.

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Well another “be quite, move along guy.” When a guy picks your pocket you do not just say oh well i will just move along. Spoken like a cheater. There are rules. They are not followed. I will give you the clubs control the rules which some do not follow and more importantly do not enforce

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Originally Posted by Anonymous
Well another “be quite, move along guy.” When a guy picks your pocket you do not just say oh well i will just move along. Spoken like a cheater. There are rules. They are not followed. I will give you the clubs control the rules which some do not follow and more importantly do not enforce

You sound like a glass half empty person, just taking a wild guess.

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Originally Posted by Anonymous
I don’t know what age group your child is but when your kid is playing in 11th grade(last year of travel); your gonna realize this petty garbage isn’t really that important! Find a hobby!

So,so true.

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Originally Posted by Anonymous
Well another “be quite, move along guy.” When a guy picks your pocket you do not just say oh well i will just move along. Spoken like a cheater. There are rules. They are not followed. I will give you the clubs control the rules which some do not follow and more importantly do not enforce

Where can we find the rules? I have never seen any rules that discuss player eligibility. And no, I am not a cheater. I am just watching older kids push my son out and recognize there is not much I can do about it at 13. When the kids get to high school it will mostly even out until then make sure your son has fun and try to keep him engaged.

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Should an 8th grader be permitted to play in a 6th grade game? Update on responses:

1) you are a glass half empty guy, move along
2) forget the cheating, it will not matter in 11th grade.
3) Your kid stinks

Well, they are responses. Anything to avoid the core issue of age grade cheating by the clubs. You are right I am a donk, my kid stinks, I am salty, I need to get a hobby, all the other stuff. Just one question. Should an 8th grader be permitted to play in a 6th grade game?

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Originally Posted by Anonymous
Should an 8th grader be permitted to play in a 6th grade game? Update on responses:

1) you are a glass half empty guy, move along
2) forget the cheating, it will not matter in 11th grade.
3) Your kid stinks

Well, they are responses. Anything to avoid the core issue of age grade cheating by the clubs. You are right I am a donk, my kid stinks, I am salty, I need to get a hobby, all the other stuff. Just one question. Should an 8th grader be permitted to play in a 6th grade game?



I hear what you are saying and I agree. I knew the responses would be what they are. The problem is there is not a single rule written that states an 8th grader can not play in a 6th grade game. Yes its grade based but no one ever wrote rules stating that this could not happen. When you read the rules for each tournament, they talk about time of each half, what happens in case of a tie, etc... nothing ever states that an 8th grader or any older grade player can not play down a grade or two or three.

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No, unless they are the same age. I’m assuming they are not, the answer is no

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Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Well another “be quite, move along guy.” When a guy picks your pocket you do not just say oh well i will just move along. Spoken like a cheater. There are rules. They are not followed. I will give you the clubs control the rules which some do not follow and more importantly do not enforce

Where can we find the rules? I have never seen any rules that discuss player eligibility. And no, I am not a cheater. I am just watching older kids push my son out and recognize there is not much I can do about it at 13. When the kids get to high school it will mostly even out until then make sure your son has fun and try to keep him engaged.

There is something you can do about it. Take your money elsewhere. Be a man of action versus complaining on an anonymous forum.

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Originally Posted by Anonymous
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Originally Posted by Anonymous
Well another “be quite, move along guy.” When a guy picks your pocket you do not just say oh well i will just move along. Spoken like a cheater. There are rules. They are not followed. I will give you the clubs control the rules which some do not follow and more importantly do not enforce

Where can we find the rules? I have never seen any rules that discuss player eligibility. And no, I am not a cheater. I am just watching older kids push my son out and recognize there is not much I can do about it at 13. When the kids get to high school it will mostly even out until then make sure your son has fun and try to keep him engaged.

There is something you can do about it. Take your money elsewhere. Be a man of action versus complaining on an anonymous forum.

Of course I am moving my son to a different program (I am a "man of action" after all). He is getting pushed out by older kids. But I am certainly not complaining it - I am just doing it.

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Is this Post directed at JS from SBU? bc, he does it on both the boys' and girls' sides. He just took a goalie 48 hrs before the Nationals and tried to take another goalie as well

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I don’t agree if you’re sons in 8th grade he should play 8th grade ball what does he learn coming down to 6th grade ?? It’s sad it mostly was seeing from Maryland or Massachusetts but looks like Long Island is starting as well..

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Originally Posted by Anonymous
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Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Well another “be quite, move along guy.” When a guy picks your pocket you do not just say oh well i will just move along. Spoken like a cheater. There are rules. They are not followed. I will give you the clubs control the rules which some do not follow and more importantly do not enforce

Where can we find the rules? I have never seen any rules that discuss player eligibility. And no, I am not a cheater. I am just watching older kids push my son out and recognize there is not much I can do about it at 13. When the kids get to high school it will mostly even out until then make sure your son has fun and try to keep him engaged.

There is something you can do about it. Take your money elsewhere. Be a man of action versus complaining on an anonymous forum.

Of course I am moving my son to a different program (I am a "man of action" after all). He is getting pushed out by older kids. But I am certainly not complaining it - I am just doing it.

I guess you thought you would get some validation on BOTC. Stop looking for it and just do it. Can't believe adult males still need to get a hug for following their convictions. Kind of ridiculous.

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Originally Posted by Anonymous
Should an 8th grader be permitted to play in a 6th grade game? Update on responses:

1) you are a glass half empty guy, move along
2) forget the cheating, it will not matter in 11th grade.
3) Your kid stinks

Well, they are responses. Anything to avoid the core issue of age grade cheating by the clubs. You are right I am a donk, my kid stinks, I am salty, I need to get a hobby, all the other stuff. Just one question. Should an 8th grader be permitted to play in a 6th grade game?

Your initial post was much wider scope than what you have here now.

Initial post aside, I agree that if a tournament is age or grade based, this rule shouldn’t be violated.

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Re: Bring Honesty Back
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Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Well another “be quite, move along guy.” When a guy picks your pocket you do not just say oh well i will just move along. Spoken like a cheater. There are rules. They are not followed. I will give you the clubs control the rules which some do not follow and more importantly do not enforce

Where can we find the rules? I have never seen any rules that discuss player eligibility. And no, I am not a cheater. I am just watching older kids push my son out and recognize there is not much I can do about it at 13. When the kids get to high school it will mostly even out until then make sure your son has fun and try to keep him engaged.

There is something you can do about it. Take your money elsewhere. Be a man of action versus complaining on an anonymous forum.

Of course I am moving my son to a different program (I am a "man of action" after all). He is getting pushed out by older kids. But I am certainly not complaining it - I am just doing it.

I guess you thought you would get some validation on BOTC. Stop looking for it and just do it. Can't believe adult males still need to get a hug for following their convictions. Kind of ridiculous.

You are an odd duck whoever you are. This is supposed to be fun. Does not seem like are having much fun unless acting like a hammerhead is fun for you.

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