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My daughter is in recruiting and i tell her this story often. I had two friends with daughters in the 2021 Class. Both committed to highly academic schools so this story is from a lacrosse standpoint only. One of these girls was on a top MD club team - the second a mid tier level MD club team. But both from good clubs and both equally good players. During recruiting the girl on the top level team committed somewhat early to her D1 school with lots of help from her club's recruiting director and lot's of help from that club's reputation. SHe and her parents insisted she play D1. She had to have alot of intervention from her club coaches and director but she was able to commit to a D1 program. The second girl from the mid-tier team took until about mid february to commit. I watched the mom of the girl who committed quickly condescendingly pat the other mom on the head and say things like - don't worry she'll find a home - don't worry she'll have the summer to play - don't worry someone will see her. I guess she was trying to be nice but it was always with a smug headshake and a feeling of superiority - like my daughter is so good - her club team is a top team - know your place - know where your daughter's club team is in the pecking order and your turn will come. seemed like pure condescension. The mid tier player had some D1 offers from schools that they weren't interested in. Everyone kept encouraging her to accept those offers but she ended up committing to a top D3 program.

Fast forward to when it was time for those girls to play on their college teams. The girls at the D3 school played as a freshman and started and played essentially 80% of each game in fall ball and is being looked at as a starter. Would she have played if she had taken one of her D1 offers ??? Who knows ??? but she played a ton at her D3 team. The D1 player did not play except for 6 minutes in a blowout game her freshman season, barely played this fallball - maybe coming in in last 5 minutes of the games where everyone played, was the last attacker subbed in, and is saying she most liklely won't play again this spring. HEr family is very concerned because she's been relegated to the "practice squad" and they're considering transferring. Hopefully her daughter will get some time and they won't have to transfer but they aren't getting a good feeling.

So my take away is this 1) go to the school that best works for you. If it's a school where you may not see playing time and you're (TRULY) ok with that then by all means do it 2) BUT not playing is always better in practice than in reality. My friend's daughter is always upset, calling her parents crying and losing confidence while watching her contemporaries play while she sits the bench 3) just because a school is D1 does not mean your lax experience will be better 4) NEVER worry about what others say about your choices. It needs to work for you not them 5)most importantly - don't mock other people's options or choices. It may come back to haunt you

There's other discussions in there such as players from top clubs being given to benefit of the doubt over others and coaches and recruiting directors helping some girls more than others but that's for another post. my main point is the D1 for lax Is not always a better choice