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Re: CHAMINADE Lacrosse. Stories and news.
#216335
May 3rd a 03:23 AM
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by **DONOTDELETE** |
**DONOTDELETE** |
I'm going to edit this person's post line by line.
Most chaminade kids are tools. (Good sentence structure, however proper names must be capitalized- Chaminade. Also, this contains an overstated and unsubstantiated generalization-- or--- personal opinion)
Just like there parents. (Not a sentence) also (THEIR not There)
Most kids go there either because they are odd and awkward (generalization & you forgot the coma after odd) (Either/or- probably could be 2 sentences)
and have no friends in public school(Evan Hansen), (not sure about the hansen reference, also poor coma usage) (should be "odd, awkward, and have no friends")
you live in a town where there are minorities in the schools and (should be a new sentence. you switched from third person personal pronoun to second person- be consistent!) (are we talking about me or the kids)
you can't stomach the thought of sending your kids there, (again, poor pronoun usage does "there" refer to Chaminade or the town HS?)
you are an elitist (generally applies to the attorneys) most of whom are really not that good. (You probably should have closed the parenthesis after good--- you are referring to attorneys and not elitists)
Or your kids are such gifted athletes you have to send them there to play the only (why?) (Finally,here is the "or", but now you've switched from second person pronoun to the kids of the second person- very confused!)
other competitive catholic school on the island(St Anthony's) (again, proper names must be capitalized - Catholic)
Yes your kids are drinking and smoking weed just like (You forgot the coma - should be "Yes, your kids....)
every other kid,the difference is they travel 50 miles to do it. (Period after "kid". new sentence) (.... and you are back to third person again?) (Also, "every other kid" is poor word choice- should be "many other kids")
Fact check: Summit, NY is 50 miles west of St. Anthony's and Montauk is 50 Miles to the East.
Grade: D-minus (extra credit given for using letters instead of grunting)
In sum, you don't like Chaminade kids for several reasons.
HAHAHAHA, great work (but you spelled comma wrong) a true and fantastic post. Post of the week, to you sir!! Touche I'm going to edit this person's post line by line.
Most chaminade kids are tools. (Good sentence structure, however proper names must be capitalized- Chaminade. Also, this contains an overstated and unsubstantiated generalization-- or--- personal opinion)
Just like there parents. (Not a sentence) also (THEIR not There)
Most kids go there either because they are odd and awkward (generalization & you forgot the coma after odd) (Either/or- probably could be 2 sentences)
and have no friends in public school(Evan Hansen), (not sure about the hansen reference, also poor coma usage) (should be "odd, awkward, and have no friends")
you live in a town where there are minorities in the schools and (should be a new sentence. you switched from third person personal pronoun to second person- be consistent!) (are we talking about me or the kids)
you can't stomach the thought of sending your kids there, (again, poor pronoun usage does "there" refer to Chaminade or the town HS?)
you are an elitist (generally applies to the attorneys) most of whom are really not that good. (You probably should have closed the parenthesis after good--- you are referring to attorneys and not elitists)
Or your kids are such gifted athletes you have to send them there to play the only (why?) (Finally,here is the "or", but now you've switched from second person pronoun to the kids of the second person- very confused!)
other competitive catholic school on the island(St Anthony's) (again, proper names must be capitalized - Catholic)
Yes your kids are drinking and smoking weed just like (You forgot the coma - should be "Yes, your kids....)
every other kid,the difference is they travel 50 miles to do it. (Period after "kid". new sentence) (.... and you are back to third person again?) (Also, "every other kid" is poor word choice- should be "many other kids")
Fact check: Summit, NY is 50 miles west of St. Anthony's and Montauk is 50 Miles to the East.
Grade: D-minus (extra credit given for using letters instead of grunting)
In sum, you don't like Chaminade kids for several reasons.
HAHAHAHA, great work (but you spelled comma wrong) a true and fantastic post. Post of the week, to you sir!! Touche I'm going to edit this person's post line by line.
Most chaminade kids are tools. (Good sentence structure, however proper names must be capitalized- Chaminade. Also, this contains an overstated and unsubstantiated generalization-- or--- personal opinion)
Just like there parents. (Not a sentence) also (THEIR not There)
Most kids go there either because they are odd and awkward (generalization & you forgot the coma after odd) (Either/or- probably could be 2 sentences)
and have no friends in public school(Evan Hansen), (not sure about the hansen reference, also poor coma usage) (should be "odd, awkward, and have no friends")
you live in a town where there are minorities in the schools and (should be a new sentence. you switched from third person personal pronoun to second person- be consistent!) (are we talking about me or the kids)
you can't stomach the thought of sending your kids there, (again, poor pronoun usage does "there" refer to Chaminade or the town HS?)
you are an elitist (generally applies to the attorneys) most of whom are really not that good. (You probably should have closed the parenthesis after good--- you are referring to attorneys and not elitists)
Or your kids are such gifted athletes you have to send them there to play the only (why?) (Finally,here is the "or", but now you've switched from second person pronoun to the kids of the second person- very confused!)
other competitive catholic school on the island(St Anthony's) (again, proper names must be capitalized - Catholic)
Yes your kids are drinking and smoking weed just like (You forgot the coma - should be "Yes, your kids....)
every other kid,the difference is they travel 50 miles to do it. (Period after "kid". new sentence) (.... and you are back to third person again?) (Also, "every other kid" is poor word choice- should be "many other kids")
Fact check: Summit, NY is 50 miles west of St. Anthony's and Montauk is 50 Miles to the East.
Grade: D-minus (extra credit given for using letters instead of grunting)
In sum, you don't like Chaminade kids for several reasons.
HAHAHAHA, great work (but you spelled comma wrong) a true and fantastic post. Post of the week, to you sir!! Touche Sorry about the comma. As Dickie Dunn said in Slapshot "I tried to capture the spirit of the thing". |
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