If you have $$ and hire private tutors and trainers for your son, and send him to he best camps and training sessions that money can buy (and few of his peers can afford), is that a form of cheating similar to holding back? Is it an unfair advantage? I know families who have bought their sons a hundred or more private sessions at 60 bucks a pop with excellent college players. Is that fair, especially to those of us who cannot afford it?
My son is a very good 8th grader, but he may "lose" a college spot to a holdback. We live in VA near DC and the first three verbals from our area for 2017 are holdbacks. It is a little annoying but, as with love and war, all is fair when it comes to your children. My two cents.
Working hard, making the most of your advantages, and maximizing one's potential relative to one's peers, is admirable. Providing those advantages and encouragement is good parenting.
Holding a kid back to change his peer group to gain an advantage is gaming the system. There is very little to admire in that situation.