I think the difference is that SW does develop the entire team, not a few of the star players (like other clubs who may likely have a parent coach). They always focus on a team environment... that is how to be a good team mate,a coachable player, attitude and work ethic. This is why their players are considered highly recruitable. Approach is more holistic, not as Sally superstar focused.
I don’t know what having a “parent coach” has to do with this. I don’t think parent coaches don’t approach things holistically or fail to encourage team play and ignore players with good attitudes. “Star players” (as you call them) may simply be working harder on their own time out of team practice AND may exhibit good attitudes and work ethic in practice. At this age I am not sure it is that complicated in that strong stick skills are critical and are the player’s responsibility (largely) on their own time. Practice should include aspects of individual development, but the “playing together” and lax iq are stronger components. There is only so much full team practice time each week. Of course coaches - parent or not - notice the girls who are likely working hard and consistently outside practice. I feel like this post begs the question of what you think is your daughter’s responsibility vs. the coaches. And being realistic that “star players” may actually be outworking others on the team.
