US Lacrosse Community Forum Forums NORTHEAST LACROSSE BOTC MAIN FORUM (LI, CT, WC) Long Island Top Guns Lacrosse

You would be incorrect. I actively coached soccer for more than a decade taking both boys and girls teams to the Region One Premier Leagues, the highest level of competition available at the elite level; our teams competed on a National Level with travel throughout the United States. After my most recent girls team transitioned to their collegiate teams (2009), I hung up my whistle.

The secret to our coaching and national success was our keeping the parents and players informed on our team philosophy, our seasonal goals for each of the teams and players, and our budget. As a result, we placed more than 40 players with teams at the NCAA Division I, Division II, and Division III level.

Make no mistake, the head coach is the ultimate decision maker for the team, but that does not make the team experience a monologue as opposed to a dialogue. Parents can give their input, but that input does NOT make for a decision unto itself.

Regarding your point on playing time changing during the season, we agree that this is a dynamic number. However, a player getting 3/4s of a game should not be demoted to getting 1/4 of a game without having several discussions regarding work ethic (practice effort) which is typically at the root of the problem.

Considering this is a lacrosse forum I can't comment on your teams accomplishments other than to say that you sound very pleased with your success. But there is a time (typically around high school) when the players must take the onus upon themselves to discuss their concerns with the coach. Having these discussions with parents opens Pandora's box. A parents job is to watch the games and support their kids, not to have input on the coach's decisions or the direction of the team.

We agree that the High School years are the right time to remove the parent from the coach/player discussion as a first point of contact.

Cage I adore your posts and appreciate your experience. Curious as to what you suggest a parent do when daughters teammates are mean. My daughter is shy, new to the team and none of the girls make any effort to include her in on anything. She is not the only one, but the other new girls all came from the same town so they at least know each other. They will ve going back to the travel team they came from after te season, in the meantime We still need to get through 4 more tournaments.

Building team chemistry is one of the most difficult things in coaching - particularly as a thirty or forty something adult trying to mix a group of teenagers. Some suggestions that worked for our girls side:

• If the team has a captain, it is her role (although she might not realize it yet) to be the leader of the team on and off the field. Ask the head coach who the most likely leader might be. She should be responsible for integrating all of the new players to your team.
• If you are doing away tournaments and the girls are dorming together, ask the coach if the players can be completely jumbled together for one tournament. No better way to break down existing cliques than making the girls find other friends.
• Have your daughter invite a couple of teammates to the house after practice - see how many might be interested.
• Arrange for a group dinner at one of the tournaments with parents and players alike. This creates a "secure" environment for your daughter and brings the whole team together.
• If doing an overnight tournament, offer to take a group a players along with your daughter to a local mall before lights-out.

Those are just a few ideas. BOTC welcomes other suggestions from our readers.

To all TG parents. Just SHUT UP and watch the games. If you have an issue call the directors like an adult. If you can't do that just leave. There are lots of clubs for you

Somehow I don't think that's a suggestion Cage was referring to..6dehxud

Do you honestly think that the TG psycho daddies are going to change their behavior when their kid gets to HS? I can tell you from experience that they don’t.

This is not limited to TG parents. Nor is it limited to lax. There have been countless stories nation wide of parents being arrested because of their behavior regarding their child's involvement in sports.... Hockey, cheering, soccer, football, baseball, softball....

Unfortunately, youth sports brings out the worst in people...

That's exactly right...the TG psycho daddies references are so old, and played out. It's in ALL sports, unfortunately...

Kinda like the YJ Psycho Mommies...they are a real prize let me tell ya. And they simply won't shut up nor will they stop making asses of themselves. Very funny to watch really. For example the posts regarding TG psycho daddies are written by a YJ Psycho Mommy........HILARIOUS! Go to a SA, Mt. Sinai or ESM game for verification!

That is really a poor attempt to deflect the attention from some of the ignorant parents in your group.I can tell you some of these out of state tournament organizers are getting tired of your club. You have kids stealing, then the out of control parents, then you have the childish e-mail writing campaign telling the tournament organizers how devastated the kids on the younger teams are that the playoffs have been canceled.You guys are truly desperate to say you have won a tournament, calm down they are little kids who cares. Northwestern is not looking to see how your team does in 5-6 grade.

Your ranting is confusing me... Why are you bringing up these schools??

Now you know why you don’t see that many TG vs YJ games at these out of state tournaments. The organizers are probably afraid that a major brawl is going to erupt between the Psycho Daddies and Psycho Mommies from both groups. It’s pretty sad that the level of animosity between the two groups is so high. Grow up folks.

Don’t forget the TG kid skipping off the field after she was red carded at the Shamrock Shootout.

What is so unique about the culture of Long Island that results in such a high percentage of the parents associated with ALL of the teams from that locale being incredibly loud and unbearably obnoxious?

I think there is something in the water, but ya gotta admit we have some awesome Pizza, Bagels and Chinese Food here.

I have been traveling with my daughters for three years now with TG and I have seen it all from both sides of the field. Every team has that one Mom or Dad that just doesn't know how to keep their mouths shut about anything. They will bark at the refs, scream instructions to their daughter, and moan out loud when another player on their daughters team misses a ground ball or the goalie lets in an easy goal "how could she".

Why do they act this way ?? probably because the only person to ever tell them to shut up is there 11 year old daughter that is mortified by their constant diarrea of the mouth.


What these parents don't realize is that a majority of the other parents on the sidelines are equally mortified by their behavior and humored by it. We all know who that parent is on each of our girls teams and as the season goes on it only gets worse for everyone involved.

I have found that when a coach has a team meeting before the first game and gives the parents instructions on what their roll is on the sidelines with specific instructions on what they are allowed to say things are drastically improved. On the various youth teams that I coach I tell the parents they are only allowed to cheer for the kids and encourage hustle and agressive clean play. If they want to criticise or coach their kids do it in the car or at home. When this relationship is created from day one the kids stop looking over their shoulder at mommy and daddy and learn to listen to the coaches and play in the "TEAM" system that the coach is trying to develop for every athelete.

Parents please try to just sit back and enjoy the ride. The girls do not need sideline coaches telling them everything they have to do. Your daughters made the team because the evaluators saw the talent that they have. We as parents should sit back and allow them to play the game. At some point we have to trust the coaches and our daughters. It is ok for them to make mistakes it will teach them to be better players. Trust that all that you and her youth coaches have taught them will flourish at this level. They know what to do on the field you have to cut the cord and allow them to make the split second decisions that THEY have to make all by themselves. It may not be the correct decision but the coaches will correct them and they will become better teammates and athletes.

At the younger ages it is all of the other parents that are watching you destroy your daughters experiences. Please correct your behavior now before she gets to the recruiting age and the college coaches start crossing her name off of their list because of your behavior. As good as your daughter may be there are 50 more girls just as good as her without all of the bagage.

At least on this web site you can rule out the loud part, but the obnoxious part is here for all to see. But these threads are exposure by choice, on the side line you have no choice but to hear these people. I applaud the tg email spelling out the expected behavior, yj have the same exact problem, maybe worse with respect to parents behavior both on the sidelines and online. To bad a few idiots give all of long island lacrosse a black eye.

If you’re confused, you may want to consider a remedial reading course. This is a pretty simple paragraph.

Anyone who makes a blanket statement like that is just an ignorant jacka##. Would you then agree that all people from your state are toothless, uneducated dolts. I wouldn't say that, but based on your quote earlier, you might.

Yea thats right. Just because you married your cousin who plays the banjo wearing overalls doesn't give you the right to be critical of us islanders!!!!!

umm.... Here's the sad part guys, I made that comment and I am from LI. Most of us LI parents are sane and normal and can control ourselves on the sideline, but a few bad apples...

Nice comment. Truly trashy to say the least.

For the Maryland contingent tuning in let me burst your etiquette bubble. You folks scream, yell at the refs and your kids as much or more than the very L.I. Parents you love to crucify. I have been around you conceited loud mouths for many years and it's funny how you denounce L.I. yet act worse. You do it in your pressed matching Ralph Lauren outfits with your noses up in the air while screaming at your daughters. And speaking of accents...your Maryland accent is quite feminine and also quite annoying in it's own right. I guess the difference is you all think you are better than every one else so you think it's ok to talk smack. Truth is you are probably compensating for something... (guys you know what your compensating for) and you women will get a pass as we are still waiting for you to get off the midday vodka binges. See you on the field you pompous Schmucks.

LOL go strong island

Top Guns 17 coaches need to insist te girls PASS the all or pull them out of the game. You can scream all you want, it's obvious certain girls refuse to listen.

Why not talk to the club? That's the adult thing to do that will possibly yield some real results. Posting here is WAY easier and takes no maturity or courage and will certainly yield NO results. Seems the choice is clear. TALK TO THE DIRECTORS either by phone or in person. They are very approachable. Only if your interested in getting some results. If not I guess we will all hear your pot stirring complaints on here again and again. Good luck!

One of the directors was there, yelled at the team to pass the ball and girls didn't listen. Just ignored him. Say what you want about YJ but in my experience the organization doesn't allow this go to the goal crap. Warning to all-the grass is NOT always greener.

real bad weekend for you guys. try the B tournaments.

Oh yea while eating your stupid chesapeake crab cake thing!!

.....And wearing those dumb looking Maryland flag uniforms.

....and those funny sailing outfits....

scores would indicate that three quarters of the teams at the Draw don't belong there - more lopsided games than close ones by far, but as long as cr gets to stack the brackets to her liking its all good

Its because of people like you that gives LI a bad name! Mostly good people who just want to enjoy the game and are proud of what all the teams accomplish. If you hadn't been so pompous all these weeks beating your chests telling everyone you were going to win maybe you wouldn't look so foolish. As many have said before, let the girls play and enjoy the game. It wont be long until they will be in and over with college. Take a page from some of the other LI teams that finished ahead of you, haven't said a word about it and have some class!

So according to you we should all play in B tournaments and keep quiet. Who would trashy drop outs like you have to unload their elementary school rank outs on? Go buy a new too tight for your body Under Armour suit to highlight your back rolls you ridiculous YJ mommy. Lol

Class?...the YJs?...your joking right? or is it the All Stars who had a girl refuse to shake hands after their final loss? WHO? Please reveal this classy organization. Thanks.

0-4 vs M&D Black. I can understand your frustration

Seriously that's the best you can come up with ... <<Deleted Content>> ... Nice weekend for you guys ,still have yet to have a team beat get a quality win.Horrible uniforms, horrible coaching,terrible results, <<Deleted Content>>,my guess the refs are against you because "maybe your too good." Get out while you can .

Frustrated with you and your pompous attitude and annoying accent and comments during games.

I guess the TG Psycho daddies are not too happy this morning. TG 2019 Black got smoked by M&D 2019 Black yesterday. At least your rival YJ clubs made their games against M&D interesting.

3 out of 7...with some surprising results. Team Elevate winning 2017 and YJ Jones winning 2020. Another surprise, no lightning and thunder!