US Lacrosse Community Forum Forums NORTHEAST LACROSSE BOTC MAIN FORUM (LI, CT, WC) Age and Reclassification. The good the bad the ugly!

My kid is not a hold back. I have answered this question and seen it answered here many times. The overwhelming majority of parents that have holdbacks did not do it for a lax advantage, if you think they do, you have more of an issue then you think and more of an issue then holdback parents, it's crazy to think they do. The problem is they fall in a particular friend group and class (because they are held back before they can start school for myriad of developmental, parents moving or hundreds of other scenarios) and start there younger years playing with all there friends and in pre-k and K people aren't searching forholdbacks to call out. So then they move to the next little pee wee league with their buddys and friends and then the travel stuff starts and they move with the kids they know and have always played with. Parent's aren't taking the kids away from their friends for 4 years and moving them somewhere else. The parents don't feel anything because they are still playing with the same kids they did their entire life and nothing has ever changed. It is not right it is not wrong, it is just what it is.

Do they cheer Johnny. Do they clap. Do they scream. Do they high 5 other parents. Do they sit silently. What’s the proper reaction, when your 8 year old lights it up against 6,7 year olds. Also that kid took a 7 year old kids position on the team. My embarrassed reaction would be just to sit silently.

Do they cheer Johnny. Do they clap. Do they scream. Do they high 5 other parents. Do they sit silently. What’s the proper reaction, when your 8 year old lights it up against 6,7 year olds. Also that kid took a 7 year old kids position on the team. My embarrassed reaction would be just to sit silently.

Well you finally pushed my button with this pandering, judging post. Here goes:

My son was born in July He started school right after turning 5. At the time we never had a thought about sports. He was just a kid. You paint a picture that we had some grand plan that would make him a sports super star. Sorry to disappoint but there was no plan. We were simply young parents raising our kid.

Everything our son does we cheer him on, support him and encourage him. No exception when he plays sports. Your view that we should sit silently and be embarrassed is ridiculous. This being said we do not act like the head of Cobra-Kai Dojo and scream inapproriate things. No, we embrace the parent conduct code and cheer for him, his teammates and all the other kids playing. You see the joke is on you and your insecurities, as sports are not central to our goal in raising our son. Sports is just a venue for him to play and learn many life’s lessons. In the end we have no anticipation of him playing sports in college. Instead we hope he majors in engineering or becomes a doctor.

So please stop telling me I should be embarrassed that my son is good lacrosse player and loves lacrosse. The kids he plays with to him and to us are just other kids. He never gives any mind as to who they are, whether they are 6 months olde then him or 6 months younger. He is just a kid playing lacrosse.

I’m closing I ask that you take time to examine your defensive ego as it pertains to you and your son. If you do these things your self worth insecurity will abate and you will learn to enjoy watching your son play for the love of the game whether it be with kids 6 months older then him or younger. If you and your son can not find joy in him playing lacrosse based upon your hold back insecurity you should think about having him take up some other form of recreation.

[quote=Anonymous]Do they cheer Johnny. Do they clap. Do they scream. Do they high 5 other parents. Do they sit silently. What’s the proper reaction, when your 8 year old lights it up against 6,7 year olds. Also that kid took a 7 year old kids position on the team. My embarrassed reaction would be just to sit silently.

Well you finally pushed my button with this pandering, judging post. Here goes:

My son was born in July He started school right after turning 5. At the time we never had a thought about sports. He was just a kid. You paint a picture that we had some grand plan that would make him a sports super star. Sorry to disappoint but there was no plan. We were simply young parents raising our kid.

Everything our son does we cheer him on, support him and encourage him. No exception when he plays sports. Your view that we should sit silently and be embarrassed is ridiculous. This being said we do not act like the head of Cobra-Kai Dojo and scream inapproriate things. No, we embrace the parent conduct code and cheer for him, his teammates and all the other kids playing. You see the joke is on you and your insecurities, as sports are not central to our goal in raising our son. Sports is just a venue for him to play and learn many life’s lessons. In the end we have no anticipation of him playing sports in college. Instead we hope he majors in engineering or becomes a doctor.

So please stop telling me I should be embarrassed that my son is good lacrosse player and loves lacrosse. The kids he plays with to him and to us are just other kids. He never gives any mind as to who they are, whether they are 6 months olde then him or 6 months younger. He is just a kid playing lacrosse.

I’m closing I ask that you take time to examine your defensive ego as it pertains to you and your son. If you do these things your self worth insecurity will abate and you will learn to enjoy watching your son play for the love of the game whether it be with kids 6 months older then him or younger. If you and your son can not find joy in him playing lacrosse based upon your hold back insecurity you should think about having him take up some other form of recreation.
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You are full of it with your 6 months older or 6 months younger. Your son will always be one of the oldest. Yes, He may occasionally play against a few other holdbacks that are older, but for the vast majority of players, He will be one of the oldest and for non holdbacks players it will be by 2 months to 16 months older depending on who he plays against . Sorry, You not your child should be embarrassed playing down like that against other children.

He is a holdback, I am guessing he did a prek or something like that. I assume you didnt think he was ready for school with other children with his birthday, Fine, that is your right, but it doesnt give you some special rights over over children. You want an advantage other children born on same EXACT DAY as your son dont get. They play with their age group.

No ego with most non holdback parents. We see youth sports ruined by the constant select held back kids getting an advantage others dont in YOUTH sports. And it is especially hard when you watch a good player get bumped due to a holdback player who is only better due to being older ( due to being heldback) . Give that player extra time and he would be better than holdback, Of course that is the exact reason everyone loves the holdbacks. Sorry it is wrong.

Grade based has only been here for about 5-6 years at YOUTH level. For last 50 years prior it was always by AGE, So spare me all this talk about insecurity, what you do is plain wrong and wasnt even done until 5-6 years ago with explosion of early recruiting and clubs. Keep telling yourself it is non holdbacks insecurity while you sit on your high horse. Common sense is still common sense. What you do is wrong and you should be embarrassed

Let's cut to the chase...we've all been at tournaments where there are several kids a whole head taller than the kids on our own sons' team. And yep, the parents on the sidelines screaming "wheels" or some other notIntelligent sideline yell. It stinks there's no regulation here. If you have a kid older than the typical player, you win you beat the system for elementary school kids. If you have a kid that plays on age... you're a fool for having ethics because few others have them. And if you're one of the parents who let's their kids play "just to learn life lessons"... then that's great because you are already teaching them how to manipulate the rules in their favor from an early age.

If you are sitting there trying to come up with all the reasons why it's acceptable that your kid is the "age outlier", then the argument is already over...

While there are so many controversies playing by grade, there is another issue when we push this sport to international. School starts differently for different countries.

Eventually I think we need some kind of age pure (like in soccer) that everyone play based on their year born.

Never happen with current system in place. To much influence by private schools and Clubs on USL. The HQ is in heart of Holdback Country.

Most of top Clubs all along the East Coast are littered with holdbacks. And it is not going away. South and West are now getting into act and bringing teams with hodbacks too.

Take something that I cant even think of to change lacrosse at this time. Hope it is out there. Just isnt right what is going on now.

Right now it seems the advantage goes to the kids born in July& Aug. Let's go to year born & give the advantage to the Jan & Feb kids. It seems that the age Gap would still be the same (anywhere from one to eleven months). I guess it all comes down to what month your kid was born.

You must be thick. No one is complaining about age based ONE year leagues. As many have said, Just pick a date Sept/Jan whatever and stick with it. Everyone is within a year and some are on younger side and some are on older side, but majority are within 3-4 months of each other. And if my son happens to be on the younger side , so be it.

The grade based system is broken. To many taking advantage of holding back or reclassing along with the prefist private school kids. Way to many players over a YEAR or MORE older ( not one month-11 months) than others, and it is easy to get advantage ( hold you kid back) . If it was a few here or there, no one would care. At this time it is an out of control with many clubs having 50-75% of starters holdbacks, Crazy

The Lacrosse Club system is broken and ruined at this time. Giving select kids an advantage in youth sports goes completely against everything we are taught and told as it pertains to the youth.