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Re: Age and Reclassification. The good the bad the ugly!
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Great point by you. These “holdbacks” are not cream so they stop rising and the non “holdbacks” who suffered so much defeat in their club days are the ultimate winners that get a partial scholarship and play on tv. In the end athleticism, speed, stickskills, positive attitude, dedication and sports iq win the day. If your son has these attributes and the “holdback” does not amen for you son. If, on the other hand, your son continues to struggle when playing teams with “holdbacks” stop complaining and realize no body cares, work harder; or stop playing club ball vs teams from other states and instead play in local leagues and tourneys that conform to the age rules you so covet.

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Re: Age and Reclassification. The good the bad the ugly!
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I could care less what team wins. My son is 8. I’m talking about individual players. Not score results of games. Again he is 8. Truth of the matter is, I’d be embarrassed if my son went against 6 and 7 year olds. I’d feel embarrassed telling my son good game. That’s just me.

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Originally Posted by Anonymous
I could care less what team wins. My son is 8. I’m talking about individual players. Not score results of games. Again he is 8. Truth of the matter is, I’d be embarrassed if my son went against 6 and 7 year olds. I’d feel embarrassed telling my son good game. That’s just me.

Would to see lax go to age based teams. Then all the complaints will be about all the age based kids who have matured early & are so much taller, faster & stronger than the other kids. Complainers want to complain , it never ends.

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"Sports, like in life, will see the cream rise. If your son or his team cannot hang against a team that has two or three kids 6 or 9 months older them him please accept the fact that your son or his team just are not as good as the other team. Constant blaming, crying or calling foul only demeans your son, his team and you. As the slogan goes - “Nobody cares, work harder!”

Congratulations! the above poster wins the award for toughest BOC dad and densest. Organized youth sports-play your own age. HS, College, post college, after all the kids have developed and matured great, whatever, there will be holdbacks, leftbacks, re-classed, pg, 5th year, grad students, no problem. Again, THERE IS NO LOGICAL ARGUMENT AGAINST FOR YOUTH SPORTS BEING AGED BASED.

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Dude my sons team had 5 holdbacks out of like 16 kids, some kids stared late the others repeated 3rd grade. This on a youth team. A kid has to sit because another kids parents cheated ? High school is best play. Travel you know there is cheating. On a youth PAL team one set of parents is advancing their child by cheating and diminishing the other kids because their kid couldn't compete. Why should a kid have to wait to get better ,getting discouraged for years because someone else is cheating?

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Re: Age and Reclassification. The good the bad the ugly!
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You and I would be embarrassed but some parents want their 8 year old to beat on 6 year olds to build their confidence especially if no one finds out. Screw your 6 year old. You usually find out when your older kids say hi to that kid and says he plays against the kid in a age requlated sport.

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Same on my kids team. One of those kids had a great game last spring. I was driving my son and his friend home after the game. I remember saying, so and so had a great game. He is really good. The boys started giggling they were in 3rd grade. I said what’s so funny. They said you know he was left back. He is older than everyone else. The next practice I spoke to another couple dads. He wasn’t left back, his parents held him back. He is a really good player, but against younger kids, he is off the charts good. I’d also be embarrassed by this. How his parents can sit and watch the game, cheer like everything is all peachy is laughable. Plus all the kids know this. For a parent to do this to his son at this young age, embarrassing. You want your son to be off the charts good. Do it the right way. Practice hard. Get him training. That’s the way to do it.

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i remember growing up it was admirable to play up a year - that was a badge of honor to say you were good enough to. Today, parents think it's glorious to have their kids play down... to dominate the younger age group... maybe they will get that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, right? $5500 of scholarship money to Jacksonville University? A lifetime of teaching faceoff clinics or coaching PAL?

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Originally Posted by Anonymous
Same on my kids team. One of those kids had a great game last spring. I was driving my son and his friend home after the game. I remember saying, so and so had a great game. He is really good. The boys started giggling they were in 3rd grade. I said what’s so funny. They said you know he was left back. He is older than everyone else. The next practice I spoke to another couple dads. He wasn’t left back, his parents held him back. He is a really good player, but against younger kids, he is off the charts good. I’d also be embarrassed by this. How his parents can sit and watch the game, cheer like everything is all peachy is laughable. Plus all the kids know this. For a parent to do this to his son at this young age, embarrassing. You want your son to be off the charts good. Do it the right way. Practice hard. Get him training. That’s the way to do it.


The parents do it because they think they have everything figured out. They could care less who they may be hurting. Cheating and lying are intentional practices. We all know who you are and will be routing against your kid. I love the honest hardworking warriors out there....go get it!

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Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Same on my kids team. One of those kids had a great game last spring. I was driving my son and his friend home after the game. I remember saying, so and so had a great game. He is really good. The boys started giggling they were in 3rd grade. I said what’s so funny. They said you know he was left back. He is older than everyone else. The next practice I spoke to another couple dads. He wasn’t left back, his parents held him back. He is a really good player, but against younger kids, he is off the charts good. I’d also be embarrassed by this. How his parents can sit and watch the game, cheer like everything is all peachy is laughable. Plus all the kids know this. For a parent to do this to his son at this young age, embarrassing. You want your son to be off the charts good. Do it the right way. Practice hard. Get him training. That’s the way to do it.


The parents do it because they think they have everything figured out. They could care less who they may be hurting. Cheating and lying are intentional practices. We all know who you are and will be routing against your kid. I love the honest hardworking warriors out there....go get it!


When your children (and the holdbacks you despise) get to Varsity HS and college, the best players play. Whether they are 14 or 19... 17 or 25. Doesn't matter. Let them play youth sports in peace- lace em up and see what happens.

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Originally Posted by Anonymous
This thread has become boring to the point of being irrelevant. The non stop complaining about a kid who happens to be 6 or 9 months older then other kids being what justifies him being a superior player is dense and long in the tooth. My son plays basketball and lacrosse. He has kids who are young in both seasons who have or currently play-up in age and were/are top players. Likewise there are kids on these teams who are on grade but younger then others who are superior players. During the basketball season his team played against, and beat teams, that were a grade older then them. Why? The guys on his team, whether young or on grade, were better players then the other guys despite the other guys being older, a little bigger and stronger.

Likewise, when I was a kid I played both sandlot sports and organized sports. On the sand lot I played against guys 2 and 3 years older then me. Competing against these guys these guys “in no blood / no foul” games made me a much better player in organized sports despite me being a non “holdback” with an August birthday. During high school I was always one of the better players on the team, was a varsity basketball starter as a sophomore and team captain in my jr and sr years despite being way younger then the other guys on the team.

Sports, like in life, will see the cream rise. If your son or his team cannot hang against a team that has two or three kids 6 or 9 months older them him please accept the fact that your son or his team just are not as good as the other team. Constant blaming, crying or calling foul only demeans your son, his team and you. As the slogan goes - “Nobody cares, work harder!”


It is always the same. Some reason all the holdback parents want their holdback son to get better playing down yet tell us parents that our on age son will get better playing against their older son. Total Hypocrites.

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I don’t despise anyone. It’s not kids fault it’s parents. Do you hear well? It’s not 14 to 19 or 18 to 25. It’s youth sports. They can play in peace. Play their age is peaceful. It’s not loud playing your age. It’s called fair. All I’m saying 15 times in a row. I’d be embarrassed if my 8 year old dominated 6 and 7 year olds. This seems like a cut and dry statement. My question to you peaceful mom or dad. Would you not be embarrassed if your 8 year old went against 6 and 7 year olds? I just can’t imagine normal people not being embarrassed by this.

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Nice one! Jordan the Goat was cut for an older bigger kid in high school! So if a super talent had problems beating out an older better kid what chance does a regular kid have when a parent has their kid play down because of a loophole. At least Jordan was HS Varsity. See how it affected Jordan? Did you hear his hall of fame speech? What a donk. Used his podium of honor to denigrate a retired teacher and coach, old teamates, coaches, his kids and others. No class. I would hope that sports would teach our kids better. I used to think he was the man in the 80s. Now my favorite Michael Jordan story is that he threatened to beat up Robert Parish's in practice and Parish said okay lets go, Jordan walked away. Just a Bully.

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I agree that having an 8 year old playing a 6 year old is pretty bizarre. My point is most “holdbacks” are not 2 years older then the kids they play. More likely the kid was born in June or July so he is on average maybe 4 to 8 months older. The problem I have is you conflate your 2 year age example and smear it evenly across all so called “holdbacks” as if - 2 yeaa as r age difference is common when it is the exception.

For kids who are a few months early of your magic September cut off date, please do not judge them or the their folks until you walk a mile in their shoes.

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If the kid is on average only 4 to 8 months older why so scared to play on age against kids 4 to 8 months older? No way thats crazy little johnny might get pushed around.......instead I will do to younger kids what I fear might happen to my kid. In fact I might send him to do private school so he can get another year so he can dominate. Parents that think their kid is good will play them up not beat on younger kids. When I was a kid the older kids respected the kid playing up and looked out for them. The younger kid looked up to those guys. Nowadays , I saw a holdback on a middle school team who slap a teamate who is the youngest littlest kid on the team in the helmet telling him to catch the ball. This is the same kid that in youth league got rocked and cried when when he scrimmaged against the year older team which he should have been on but repeated the grade. Can't compete repeat or holdback so you can bully younger kids instead of earning your peers respect.

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If the kid is on average only 4 to 8 months older why so scared to play on age against kids 4 to 8 months older? No way thats crazy little johnny might get pushed around.......instead I will do to younger kids what I fear might happen to my kid. In fact I might send him to do private school so he can get another year so he can dominate. Parents that think their kid is good will play them up not beat on younger kids. When I was a kid the older kids respected the kid playing up and looked out for them. The younger kid looked up to those guys. Nowadays , I saw a holdback on a middle school team who slap a teamate who is the youngest littlest kid on the team in the helmet telling him to catch the ball. This is the same kid that in youth league got rocked and cried when when he scrimmaged against the year older team which he should have been on but repeated the grade. Can't compete repeat or holdback so you can bully younger kids instead of earning your peers respect.

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First off it’s not my magic cutoff date. It’s the lacrosse date used. Secondly I said 8 year olds playing 6 and 7 year olds. That means 1 to 2 years. Stop twisting things. My son is playing his grade. He is April. Now if I hold him back a year, he will play kids 1 year to possibly 2 years younger than him. If I were to watch my son run up and down the field on these younger kids, I’d feel like an embarrassment. That’s all I’m saying. I don’t need to walk in other peoples shoes. What does that even mean?. Walk in their shoes to have an 8 year old play younger kids. What kind of response is that. Discussion over.

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Originally Posted by Anonymous
First off it’s not my magic cutoff date. It’s the lacrosse date used. Secondly I said 8 year olds playing 6 and 7 year olds. That means 1 to 2 years. Stop twisting things. My son is playing his grade. He is April. Now if I hold him back a year, he will play kids 1 year to possibly 2 years younger than him. If I were to watch my son run up and down the field on these younger kids, I’d feel like an embarrassment. That’s all I’m saying. I don’t need to walk in other peoples shoes. What does that even mean?. Walk in their shoes to have an 8 year old play younger kids. What kind of response is that. Discussion over.

This guy is right and on top of this the states have different grade cut off so this holdback thing is even more complicated. My kid is March school cut off is December he is 9 months older than some December kid. The holdback is August/Sept he is 7 months older than my kid. He is 16 months older than the December kid. Now go to a state with September cutoff take a holdback from that state add another 6 months. They are are the same grade at a travel tournament. My kid can't cut it,I will let him beat on younger kids. The only magic is the parent cheating. We all know magic is illusion and tricks.

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Originally Posted by Anonymous
Same on my kids team. One of those kids had a great game last spring. I was driving my son and his friend home after the game. I remember saying, so and so had a great game. He is really good. The boys started giggling they were in 3rd grade. I said what’s so funny. They said you know he was left back. He is older than everyone else. The next practice I spoke to another couple dads. He wasn’t left back, his parents held him back. He is a really good player, but against younger kids, he is off the charts good. I’d also be embarrassed by this. How his parents can sit and watch the game, cheer like everything is all peachy is laughable. Plus all the kids know this. For a parent to do this to his son at this young age, embarrassing. You want your son to be off the charts good. Do it the right way. Practice hard. Get him training. That’s the way to do it.


More embarrassing to me are the parents who moan and complain on the sidelines when a big kid outplays their kid or team. My son is a tall, good player (from MD). Every time we play a NY team I hear dads complaining that he's a hold back when he scores. I am 6'2, my wife is almost 6'0, he is on grade. bigger doesn't mean hold back.

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Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous
First off it’s not my magic cutoff date. It’s the lacrosse date used. Secondly I said 8 year olds playing 6 and 7 year olds. That means 1 to 2 years. Stop twisting things. My son is playing his grade. He is April. Now if I hold him back a year, he will play kids 1 year to possibly 2 years younger than him. If I were to watch my son run up and down the field on these younger kids, I’d feel like an embarrassment. That’s all I’m saying. I don’t need to walk in other peoples shoes. What does that even mean?. Walk in their shoes to have an 8 year old play younger kids. What kind of response is that. Discussion over.

This guy is right and on top of this the states have different grade cut off so this holdback thing is even more complicated. My kid is March school cut off is December he is 9 months older than some December kid. The holdback is August/Sept he is 7 months older than my kid. He is 16 months older than the December kid. Now go to a state with September cutoff take a holdback from that state add another 6 months. They are are the same grade at a travel tournament. My kid can't cut it,I will let him beat on younger kids. The only magic is the parent cheating. We all know magic is illusion and tricks.



Did anyone celebrate Easter with their family yesterday? Give it a rest already. No one of any importance from US lacrosse is on here ever. It’s just a bunch of frustrated dads who can’t come to grips with their sons ability.

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Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous
First off it’s not my magic cutoff date. It’s the lacrosse date used. Secondly I said 8 year olds playing 6 and 7 year olds. That means 1 to 2 years. Stop twisting things. My son is playing his grade. He is April. Now if I hold him back a year, he will play kids 1 year to possibly 2 years younger than him. If I were to watch my son run up and down the field on these younger kids, I’d feel like an embarrassment. That’s all I’m saying. I don’t need to walk in other peoples shoes. What does that even mean?. Walk in their shoes to have an 8 year old play younger kids. What kind of response is that. Discussion over.

This guy is right and on top of this the states have different grade cut off so this holdback thing is even more complicated. My kid is March school cut off is December he is 9 months older than some December kid. The holdback is August/Sept he is 7 months older than my kid. He is 16 months older than the December kid. Now go to a state with September cutoff take a holdback from that state add another 6 months. They are are the same grade at a travel tournament. My kid can't cut it,I will let him beat on younger kids. The only magic is the parent cheating. We all know magic is illusion and tricks.


It doesn't matter... if the kids are good enough, they are good enough. Regardless of age. Freshman play varsity against seniors and seniors play against freshman. Just play. If you are good, you won't get missed.

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Again, discussion over. It’s like talking to robots. Seniors playing against freshman. . Freshman playing against seniors. That’s High school. Do you not here well? I’m talking youth. My 8 year old playing against 6 and 7 year olds, would be an embarrassment. Watching my kid run through younger kids, I’d feel ashamed. Now some other guy is saying he is 6 foot 2. I’m not talking size. Do you hear well too. I don’t care if your youth kid is 6 foot 8. I’m talking about youth holdbacks. Parents who do this, in my opinion, are embarrassments. Normal parents are talking behind your backs, they are bad mouthing you.

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Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Same on my kids team. One of those kids had a great game last spring. I was driving my son and his friend home after the game. I remember saying, so and so had a great game. He is really good. The boys started giggling they were in 3rd grade. I said what’s so funny. They said you know he was left back. He is older than everyone else. The next practice I spoke to another couple dads. He wasn’t left back, his parents held him back. He is a really good player, but against younger kids, he is off the charts good. I’d also be embarrassed by this. How his parents can sit and watch the game, cheer like everything is all peachy is laughable. Plus all the kids know this. For a parent to do this to his son at this young age, embarrassing. You want your son to be off the charts good. Do it the right way. Practice hard. Get him training. That’s the way to do it.


More embarrassing to me are the parents who moan and complain on the sidelines when a big kid outplays their kid or team. My son is a tall, good player (from MD). Every time we play a NY team I hear dads complaining that he's a hold back when he scores. I am 6'2, my wife is almost 6'0, he is on grade. bigger doesn't mean hold back.


When I see a big kid I have brains enough to look at the sideline. If I see parents that are 6+ ft then you can obviously tell thats why that kid is so big, not that he is a holdback. There are many times when there are 5 kids on a team who are a head taller and none of the parents are over 5ft 8. There is a very successful high school soccer team near me. Might be ranked top 3 in the country now. Growing up they always had kids who were way bigger and often times more skilled then everyone else. None of the parents are over 5ft 5. I know one of the coaches there and he told me there is nothing he can do. They show him a birth certificate from some country that looks made up and that the kid has a full beard but the birth certificate says he is only 11.

Point being it is usually easy to see which teams are using holdbacks/cheating. Looks at the parents. 99% of the time dna doesn't lie.

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Originally Posted by Anonymous
Again, discussion over. It’s like talking to robots. Seniors playing against freshman. . Freshman playing against seniors. That’s High school. Do you not here well? I’m talking youth. My 8 year old playing against 6 and 7 year olds, would be an embarrassment. Watching my kid run through younger kids, I’d feel ashamed. Now some other guy is saying he is 6 foot 2. I’m not talking size. Do you hear well too. I don’t care if your youth kid is 6 foot 8. I’m talking about youth holdbacks. Parents who do this, in my opinion, are embarrassments. Normal parents are talking behind your backs, they are bad mouthing you.


Why do you think that life is fair? Its not and never will be. Competition in youth sports is optional. You know what you are getting into when you sign up. Yes it stinks that there are cheaters and amoral leaders. Its not going to change until "you" change. The governing bodies are feckless because they are concerned about protecting the organization above its members. So choose. Work your butt off for change, or survive the system and see what happens. IMO there are bigger issues to tackle before we can get to this one. In hindsight one day I suspect you will realize it never really mattered anyway. While living it, its angering. Think of it this way, encourage your son to play, have fun, even if its for a B team, train, get better, and if he wants to kick butt in HS, get prepared.

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Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Again, discussion over. It’s like talking to robots. Seniors playing against freshman. . Freshman playing against seniors. That’s High school. Do you not here well? I’m talking youth. My 8 year old playing against 6 and 7 year olds, would be an embarrassment. Watching my kid run through younger kids, I’d feel ashamed. Now some other guy is saying he is 6 foot 2. I’m not talking size. Do you hear well too. I don’t care if your youth kid is 6 foot 8. I’m talking about youth holdbacks. Parents who do this, in my opinion, are embarrassments. Normal parents are talking behind your backs, they are bad mouthing you.


Why do you think that life is fair? Its not and never will be. Competition in youth sports is optional. You know what you are getting into when you sign up. Yes it stinks that there are cheaters and amoral leaders. Its not going to change until "you" change. The governing bodies are feckless because they are concerned about protecting the organization above its members. So choose. Work your butt off for change, or survive the system and see what happens. IMO there are bigger issues to tackle before we can get to this one. In hindsight one day I suspect you will realize it never really mattered anyway. While living it, its angering. Think of it this way, encourage your son to play, have fun, even if its for a B team, train, get better, and if he wants to kick butt in HS, get prepared.


I still don't understand what makes lacrosse so special that it is the only sport still organized by grade instead of age. Not whining, just haven't heard a coherent argument for why that should be.

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The question isn’t about the governing body of lacrosse. I agree, they allow this. The question is simply to the parents of other kids. Parents of a youth holdbacks. The question is what do you feel like watching your older son, run through kids 1 to 2 years younger. Not high school parents, not college parents. Youth parents. I just want to know that answer. What do you feel when you see your son doing this? Just answer the question.

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Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Again, discussion over. It’s like talking to robots. Seniors playing against freshman. . Freshman playing against seniors. That’s High school. Do you not here well? I’m talking youth. My 8 year old playing against 6 and 7 year olds, would be an embarrassment. Watching my kid run through younger kids, I’d feel ashamed. Now some other guy is saying he is 6 foot 2. I’m not talking size. Do you hear well too. I don’t care if your youth kid is 6 foot 8. I’m talking about youth holdbacks. Parents who do this, in my opinion, are embarrassments. Normal parents are talking behind your backs, they are bad mouthing you.


Why do you think that life is fair? Its not and never will be. Competition in youth sports is optional. You know what you are getting into when you sign up. Yes it stinks that there are cheaters and amoral leaders. Its not going to change until "you" change. The governing bodies are feckless because they are concerned about protecting the organization above its members. So choose. Work your butt off for change, or survive the system and see what happens. IMO there are bigger issues to tackle before we can get to this one. In hindsight one day I suspect you will realize it never really mattered anyway. While living it, its angering. Think of it this way, encourage your son to play, have fun, even if its for a B team, train, get better, and if he wants to kick butt in HS, get prepared.


Thats the right stuff that built this country. I just told my second grader all that, Who cares if those other boys are older by 1 year to two years and should be in a grade higher . You need to learn these bitter life lessons when you are a second grader. Time for you to GROW UP !! Quit acting like a second grader , time to be an adult and learn life's lessons. " So choose. Work your butt off for change, or survive the system and see what happens." and while you are at it, get a job, I am tired of carrying you.

Always thought that youth sports should give an advantage to select kids that others dont get.

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Originally Posted by cltlax
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Originally Posted by Anonymous
Again, discussion over. It’s like talking to robots. Seniors playing against freshman. . Freshman playing against seniors. That’s High school. Do you not here well? I’m talking youth. My 8 year old playing against 6 and 7 year olds, would be an embarrassment. Watching my kid run through younger kids, I’d feel ashamed. Now some other guy is saying he is 6 foot 2. I’m not talking size. Do you hear well too. I don’t care if your youth kid is 6 foot 8. I’m talking about youth holdbacks. Parents who do this, in my opinion, are embarrassments. Normal parents are talking behind your backs, they are bad mouthing you.


Why do you think that life is fair? Its not and never will be. Competition in youth sports is optional. You know what you are getting into when you sign up. Yes it stinks that there are cheaters and amoral leaders. Its not going to change until "you" change. The governing bodies are feckless because they are concerned about protecting the organization above its members. So choose. Work your butt off for change, or survive the system and see what happens. IMO there are bigger issues to tackle before we can get to this one. In hindsight one day I suspect you will realize it never really mattered anyway. While living it, its angering. Think of it this way, encourage your son to play, have fun, even if its for a B team, train, get better, and if he wants to kick butt in HS, get prepared.


I still don't understand what makes lacrosse so special that it is the only sport still organized by grade instead of age. Not whining, just haven't heard a coherent argument for why that should be.


My son plays basketball year round in the DMV and every tournament we play in is organized as 5th grade, 6th grade, 7th grade, 8th grade . My son is a normal average kid with some decent skills. He is playing kids that are literally double his size every weekend. We played a team from Philly in the last tournament before the COVID stuff and the kids had beards and were looking down on there 6 foot coach, literal beards and were supposed to be in 7th grade. These are AAU teams. Unless I am missing something, I see this at every level outside of county leagues in basketball. It is aggravating, but motivating.

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Originally Posted by cltlax
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Again, discussion over. It’s like talking to robots. Seniors playing against freshman. . Freshman playing against seniors. That’s High school. Do you not here well? I’m talking youth. My 8 year old playing against 6 and 7 year olds, would be an embarrassment. Watching my kid run through younger kids, I’d feel ashamed. Now some other guy is saying he is 6 foot 2. I’m not talking size. Do you hear well too. I don’t care if your youth kid is 6 foot 8. I’m talking about youth holdbacks. Parents who do this, in my opinion, are embarrassments. Normal parents are talking behind your backs, they are bad mouthing you.


Why do you think that life is fair? Its not and never will be. Competition in youth sports is optional. You know what you are getting into when you sign up. Yes it stinks that there are cheaters and amoral leaders. Its not going to change until "you" change. The governing bodies are feckless because they are concerned about protecting the organization above its members. So choose. Work your butt off for change, or survive the system and see what happens. IMO there are bigger issues to tackle before we can get to this one. In hindsight one day I suspect you will realize it never really mattered anyway. While living it, its angering. Think of it this way, encourage your son to play, have fun, even if its for a B team, train, get better, and if he wants to kick butt in HS, get prepared.


I still don't understand what makes lacrosse so special that it is the only sport still organized by grade instead of age. Not whining, just haven't heard a coherent argument for why that should be.

One of the unique factors about lacrosse v. other sports is that it is completed dominated by private high schools in Baltimore, DC, and New England. There are dominant private and public schools in NY. Hockey is another popular private school sport but also played throughout Canada by a different economic class. Lower schools and upper schools both benefit when the kids start late and pay an extra year of tuition. Parents evaluating if 45K plus a year for tuition is worth it, look at the results of previous classes. The extra year advantage in both sports and academics equals a greater track record for college placement. Soccer, football, basketball, and baseball all have talent spread throughout public schools and typically do not send over 60% of one sports team to top D1 programs at the rate a top lacrosse team would. Basketball and football do have a few of those types of schools like Oak Hill that are sports factories. However, there are too many teams to have this influence the whole youth sports program. In lacrosse, the clubs and tournaments all run in much smaller circles. US Lacrosse is made up of some of the same people. The US LAX hq is right in the middle of all of the MIAA high schools who benefit the most from holdbacks. therefore it will not change under the current model.

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Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous
First off it’s not my magic cutoff date. It’s the lacrosse date used. Secondly I said 8 year olds playing 6 and 7 year olds. That means 1 to 2 years. Stop twisting things. My son is playing his grade. He is April. Now if I hold him back a year, he will play kids 1 year to possibly 2 years younger than him. If I were to watch my son run up and down the field on these younger kids, I’d feel like an embarrassment. That’s all I’m saying. I don’t need to walk in other peoples shoes. What does that even mean?. Walk in their shoes to have an 8 year old play younger kids. What kind of response is that. Discussion over.

This guy is right and on top of this the states have different grade cut off so this holdback thing is even more complicated. My kid is March school cut off is December he is 9 months older than some December kid. The holdback is August/Sept he is 7 months older than my kid. He is 16 months older than the December kid. Now go to a state with September cutoff take a holdback from that state add another 6 months. They are are the same grade at a travel tournament. My kid can't cut it,I will let him beat on younger kids. The only magic is the parent cheating. We all know magic is illusion and tricks.


It doesn't matter... if the kids are good enough, they are good enough. Regardless of age. Freshman play varsity against seniors and seniors play against freshman. Just play. If you are good, you won't get missed.

You get better by playing right? If a cheater takes your spot you don't get to play. The only reason he has a spot is because he doesn't belong there. No different from the college cheating scandal. Were those kids better or their parents have better bank account?

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Originally Posted by cltlax
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous
Again, discussion over. It’s like talking to robots. Seniors playing against freshman. . Freshman playing against seniors. That’s High school. Do you not here well? I’m talking youth. My 8 year old playing against 6 and 7 year olds, would be an embarrassment. Watching my kid run through younger kids, I’d feel ashamed. Now some other guy is saying he is 6 foot 2. I’m not talking size. Do you hear well too. I don’t care if your youth kid is 6 foot 8. I’m talking about youth holdbacks. Parents who do this, in my opinion, are embarrassments. Normal parents are talking behind your backs, they are bad mouthing you.


Why do you think that life is fair? Its not and never will be. Competition in youth sports is optional. You know what you are getting into when you sign up. Yes it stinks that there are cheaters and amoral leaders. Its not going to change until "you" change. The governing bodies are feckless because they are concerned about protecting the organization above its members. So choose. Work your butt off for change, or survive the system and see what happens. IMO there are bigger issues to tackle before we can get to this one. In hindsight one day I suspect you will realize it never really mattered anyway. While living it, its angering. Think of it this way, encourage your son to play, have fun, even if its for a B team, train, get better, and if he wants to kick butt in HS, get prepared.


I still don't understand what makes lacrosse so special that it is the only sport still organized by grade instead of age. Not whining, just haven't heard a coherent argument for why that should be.


There isn't a coherent argument for why it should be. Just the fact that it's not. Youth sports should be birth year based. But not all of them are. So, play and enjoy it, or don't play. Be a parent to your kid. Don't judge others for being stunads. Life isn't fair- raising kids expecting life to be fair sets them up for entitlement. Just. Go. Play.

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Originally Posted by Anonymous
The question isn’t about the governing body of lacrosse. I agree, they allow this. The question is simply to the parents of other kids. Parents of a youth holdbacks. The question is what do you feel like watching your older son, run through kids 1 to 2 years younger. Not high school parents, not college parents. Youth parents. I just want to know that answer. What do you feel when you see your son doing this? Just answer the question.


My kid is not a hold back. I have answered this question and seen it answered here many times. The overwhelming majority of parents that have holdbacks did not do it for a lax advantage, if you think they do, you have more of an issue then you think and more of an issue then holdback parents, it's crazy to think they do. The problem is they fall in a particular friend group and class (because they are held back before they can start school for myriad of developmental, parents moving or hundreds of other scenarios) and start there younger years playing with all there friends and in pre-k and K people aren't searching forholdbacks to call out. So then they move to the next little pee wee league with their buddys and friends and then the travel stuff starts and they move with the kids they know and have always played with. Parent's aren't taking the kids away from their friends for 4 years and moving them somewhere else. The parents don't feel anything because they are still playing with the same kids they did their entire life and nothing has ever changed. It is not right it is not wrong, it is just what it is.

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Originally Posted by Anonymous
Again, discussion over. It’s like talking to robots. Seniors playing against freshman. . Freshman playing against seniors. That’s High school. Do you not here well? I’m talking youth. My 8 year old playing against 6 and 7 year olds, would be an embarrassment. Watching my kid run through younger kids, I’d feel ashamed. Now some other guy is saying he is 6 foot 2. I’m not talking size. Do you hear well too. I don’t care if your youth kid is 6 foot 8. I’m talking about youth holdbacks. Parents who do this, in my opinion, are embarrassments. Normal parents are talking behind your backs, they are bad mouthing you.


Ugh, complaining that people don't "here" well, you don't "spell" well.

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I agree, but still after all this back and fourth, still no answer from a holdback parent. I’m asking that simple question. What does it feel like when your youth child runs through kids 1 to 2 years younger? I’d be so embarrassed. That’s me. I’m asking you. Just answer. I don’t want to here life is unfair. I don’t want to hear about private school tuitions. I don’t want to here how it will prepare them for high school. I don’t want to here how you were captain in 11th and 12th grade. I don’t want to hear how tall you and your wife are. I got all that. That’s called changing the topic. The topic and the question once again. How would it feel if your 8 year old son ran through the 6 and 7 year old kids playing against him? Answer the question.

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Originally Posted by Anonymous
I agree, but still after all this back and fourth, still no answer from a holdback parent. I’m asking that simple question. What does it feel like when your youth child runs through kids 1 to 2 years younger? I’d be so embarrassed. That’s me. I’m asking you. Just answer. I don’t want to here life is unfair. I don’t want to hear about private school tuitions. I don’t want to here how it will prepare them for high school. I don’t want to here how you were captain in 11th and 12th grade. I don’t want to hear how tall you and your wife are. I got all that. That’s called changing the topic. The topic and the question once again. How would it feel if your 8 year old son ran through the 6 and 7 year old kids playing against him? Answer the question.


Let's try it again. They DO NOT FEEL ANYTHING BECAUSE THEIR KID IS PLAYING WITH THE SAME GROUP OF KIDS HIS ENTIRE LIFE SO THEY DON'T REALLY REALIZE ANYTHING IS WRONG. THEY DIDN'T HOLD THEIR KID BACK FOR SPORTS SO THERE IS NOTHING ABNORMAL TO THEM. JOHNNY IS PLAYING WITH THE SAME KIDS HE DID 3 YEARS AGO BUT IS BIGGER

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Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous
The question isn’t about the governing body of lacrosse. I agree, they allow this. The question is simply to the parents of other kids. Parents of a youth holdbacks. The question is what do you feel like watching your older son, run through kids 1 to 2 years younger. Not high school parents, not college parents. Youth parents. I just want to know that answer. What do you feel when you see your son doing this? Just answer the question.


My kid is not a hold back. I have answered this question and seen it answered here many times. The overwhelming majority of parents that have holdbacks did not do it for a lax advantage, if you think they do, you have more of an issue then you think and more of an issue then holdback parents, it's crazy to think they do. The problem is they fall in a particular friend group and class (because they are held back before they can start school for myriad of developmental, parents moving or hundreds of other scenarios) and start there younger years playing with all there friends and in pre-k and K people aren't searching forholdbacks to call out. So then they move to the next little pee wee league with their buddys and friends and then the travel stuff starts and they move with the kids they know and have always played with. Parent's aren't taking the kids away from their friends for 4 years and moving them somewhere else. The parents don't feel anything because they are still playing with the same kids they did their entire life and nothing has ever changed. It is not right it is not wrong, it is just what it is.

You are right they don't do it for a lax advantage they do it for an academic advantage or developmental advantage and a bonus athletic advantage sometimes lacrosse.

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OK CAPS GUY. WHAT IF JOHNNY PLAYED SOCCER,BASEBALL, FOOTBALL. Then what. I’m sure those sports have kids held back for other reasons. What do those parents do. How about this, most kids play 2, 3 sports. What if he plays football or soccer and lax. He can’t play with his classmates playing football or soccer. What do they do then. JOHNNY will have to make new friends for football season. Id be embarrassed, your answer is your opinion and to each their own. My opinion is those parents would be an embarrassment.

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Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous
I agree, but still after all this back and fourth, still no answer from a holdback parent. I’m asking that simple question. What does it feel like when your youth child runs through kids 1 to 2 years younger? I’d be so embarrassed. That’s me. I’m asking you. Just answer. I don’t want to here life is unfair. I don’t want to hear about private school tuitions. I don’t want to here how it will prepare them for high school. I don’t want to here how you were captain in 11th and 12th grade. I don’t want to hear how tall you and your wife are. I got all that. That’s called changing the topic. The topic and the question once again. How would it feel if your 8 year old son ran through the 6 and 7 year old kids playing against him? Answer the question.


Let's try it again. They DO NOT FEEL ANYTHING BECAUSE THEIR KID IS PLAYING WITH THE SAME GROUP OF KIDS HIS ENTIRE LIFE SO THEY DON'T REALLY REALIZE ANYTHING IS WRONG. THEY DIDN'T HOLD THEIR KID BACK FOR SPORTS SO THERE IS NOTHING ABNORMAL TO THEM. JOHNNY IS PLAYING WITH THE SAME KIDS HE DID 3 YEARS AGO BUT IS BIGGER

They dont feel bad because they only care about Johnny. Now ask them how they would feel if a kid one or two years older manhandles and trucks Johnny up and down the field.? I bet they would be the first to scream foul and that there is cheating.

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Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous
The question isn’t about the governing body of lacrosse. I agree, they allow this. The question is simply to the parents of other kids. Parents of a youth holdbacks. The question is what do you feel like watching your older son, run through kids 1 to 2 years younger. Not high school parents, not college parents. Youth parents. I just want to know that answer. What do you feel when you see your son doing this? Just answer the question.


My kid is not a hold back. I have answered this question and seen it answered here many times. The overwhelming majority of parents that have holdbacks did not do it for a lax advantage, if you think they do, you have more of an issue then you think and more of an issue then holdback parents, it's crazy to think they do. The problem is they fall in a particular friend group and class (because they are held back before they can start school for myriad of developmental, parents moving or hundreds of other scenarios) and start there younger years playing with all there friends and in pre-k and K people aren't searching forholdbacks to call out. So then they move to the next little pee wee league with their buddys and friends and then the travel stuff starts and they move with the kids they know and have always played with. Parent's aren't taking the kids away from their friends for 4 years and moving them somewhere else. The parents don't feel anything because they are still playing with the same kids they did their entire life and nothing has ever changed. It is not right it is not wrong, it is just what it is.




wow.... if this is not the definition of rationalization then what is? so when your kid plays for '91, he is already friends w all the kids previously? or just is at that mental level because he has been held back in school?

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Originally Posted by Anonymous
Originally Posted by Anonymous
I agree, but still after all this back and fourth, still no answer from a holdback parent. I’m asking that simple question. What does it feel like when your youth child runs through kids 1 to 2 years younger? I’d be so embarrassed. That’s me. I’m asking you. Just answer. I don’t want to here life is unfair. I don’t want to hear about private school tuitions. I don’t want to here how it will prepare them for high school. I don’t want to here how you were captain in 11th and 12th grade. I don’t want to hear how tall you and your wife are. I got all that. That’s called changing the topic. The topic and the question once again. How would it feel if your 8 year old son ran through the 6 and 7 year old kids playing against him? Answer the question.


Let's try it again. They DO NOT FEEL ANYTHING BECAUSE THEIR KID IS PLAYING WITH THE SAME GROUP OF KIDS HIS ENTIRE LIFE SO THEY DON'T REALLY REALIZE ANYTHING IS WRONG. THEY DIDN'T HOLD THEIR KID BACK FOR SPORTS SO THERE IS NOTHING ABNORMAL TO THEM. JOHNNY IS PLAYING WITH THE SAME KIDS HE DID 3 YEARS AGO BUT IS BIGGER


I couldn't tell you how it feels bc my children always played with older kids. When I see a physically dominant kid or uber talented kid tearing up the competition, I feel badly for the kid as well as the others playing as it seems to take some of the fun out of it and he really can't feel that good about himself. Beyond an occasional thought of sadness, I really don't/didn't pay much attention to it. At some point, the advantage of being older might pay dividends, it might not- I guess it depends on the parenting. But I certainly don't get bent out of shape for my own kids bc they were almost always the youngest on their teams and that in of itself was a challenge- emotionally and socially. But it all worked out. No regrets.

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