Once the kids are in high school, I age that the grade level works fine. You have kids fighting for jv and varsity spots in high school and the only time something is a little off is a kid there past his true senior year. However, for kids truely 8th grade or younger, the parents need to focus on creating a fair competitive environment by playing based on age. If a kid wants to play up - fine, let him challenge himself, but playing down though any loopholes or hold backs or other method is wrong and against the spirit of fair play. If your kid wants to dominate his age group, tell him to practice and hit the wall, don't have him play down.
So if my son was born on August 15, 2002 and is in 6th grade this year (2020), and one of his friends was born on August 8th of the same year but his parents started him late in school such that he plays with the 2021, do you see a problem with this scenario?
The issue isn't one or two kids but a team (or core of a team) made up of those kids.
The rule in NY by most accounts is Nov , US lacrosse has Sept. There will always be older and younger (Aug 31st vs Sept 1 of the same year) and there will always be those that are close to the cutoff (Aug 1st) that feel shortchanged or will bend the rules to benefit themselves (Sept 15th).
To me if your kid is born prior to Nov you should be in the grade with kids born the same year as you. But that is me. If you are held or left back you do play with your grade. If you feel better with you older kid beating up on younger kids so be it. Why wouldn't you play him up with his age until HS, then let him shine in HS when he is the oldest boy who played a tougher youth experience.
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