This is where the issue is with everyone complaining about playing against other teams that aren't on age. I'm coming from the perspective of a travel and HS coach with multiple years of experience. My kids are young and just starting to play, so to head off the obvious retort: no, not a parent of a holdback player.
1. you can complain about it all you want, but your son is hearing it. So all they are learning that it is something out of their control and not their fault so when they lose or can't beat a better, older player it's because the system is rigged, not because they need to put more work in to get better. 2. Those kids then get to high school and SHOCKER they are now playing against kids 3-5 years age difference - which will be true for the rest of their playing days. 3. almost universally, every parent that sees their special little boy score 100 goals a year in youth an club ball suddenly can't break the lineup on JV and god-forbid they aren't on the varsity team freshman year because they can't beat out kids who are 3-5 years older than them. The conversation EVERY TIME: Well my son is a starter on his club team and he's done this and this, and his club coach tells us how great he is. That's all great, but in practice, he can't get past my 6th defenseman and has no off-hand and every time he tries to run through the entire defense he gets put on his butt and the ball's going the other way. 4. those same kids can't handle the adversity because they've never had to face it before. Mommy and Daddy have been paving the way for so long that now when it is up to them, they don't have the skills and experience to face it and they fold. 5. You can complain all you want, but that isn't changing it. This is the reality. Is it fair? Should it be this way? Probably not, but its the way it is. So when all your whining and complaining is done, your son still has to go out and face it and he is doing it without any experience or tools to handle it. How about you expend that energy working with your son to get through it and handle the adversity and prepare them for it because he WILL face it in the future.
I have heard this year in and year out and the only thing that changes is there are more people to have the same conversation with.
You are correct. People will have to fight adversity their whole lives but it doesn’t need to start at this age group. Kids should be playing kids their own age. That’s final. When they get to high school where no one actually should care about club anymore, let them reclass to their hearts delight when they can’t hack it against their own age group. But in the mean time let kids be kids and they let them play for the fun of the game before you introduce the Hunger Games aspect into their lacrosse lives.
We’re talking about rising 8th graders so one year away from high school. Let it go.
NO! It shouldn’t happen anytime before High-school!! Period!! Let the hunger games begin in HS! Until then, let the kids develop all in fairness of “on age”!
That's one way to look at it. But, as I alluded to in a previous post - speaking from a Club and HS coach's perspective: every single parent/player/family that has had this mindset going into HS is also the ones that are most astonished when the player suddenly can't handle facing players a few years older. Those parents are also the single most vocal ones who go to the coach, AD and administration whining about why their kid isn't playing/starting/on varsity and the player has little to know tools in their arsenal to deal with adversity. And why should they? All they've learned is that when there is a perceived unfairness. Their parents will complain to someone and get it fixed for them.
Your son should leave each spring and club season already prepared for the next season and if he wants to be at the truly high level, even beyond that. Do you honestly think that he's suddenly going to figure it out the second he hits high school? No way. You are already creating a situation where your son is unprepared to handle it once he gets there.
Your son - regardless what age he is playing at - will 100% face opponents who are bigger, better, stronger and more skilled than him. It wont be all the time, but it will happen. If he does not have the skills to adapt to this, he isn't going to suddenly manifest it out of thin air just because he's suddenly a 9th grader.
