This is where the issue is with everyone complaining about playing against other teams that aren't on age. I'm coming from the perspective of a travel and HS coach with multiple years of experience. My kids are young and just starting to play, so to head off the obvious retort: no, not a parent of a holdback player.
1. you can complain about it all you want, but your son is hearing it. So all they are learning that it is something out of their control and not their fault so when they lose or can't beat a better, older player it's because the system is rigged, not because they need to put more work in to get better. 2. Those kids then get to high school and SHOCKER they are now playing against kids 3-5 years age difference - which will be true for the rest of their playing days. 3. almost universally, every parent that sees their special little boy score 100 goals a year in youth an club ball suddenly can't break the lineup on JV and god-forbid they aren't on the varsity team freshman year because they can't beat out kids who are 3-5 years older than them. The conversation EVERY TIME: Well my son is a starter on his club team and he's done this and this, and his club coach tells us how great he is. That's all great, but in practice, he can't get past my 6th defenseman and has no off-hand and every time he tries to run through the entire defense he gets put on his butt and the ball's going the other way. 4. those same kids can't handle the adversity because they've never had to face it before. Mommy and Daddy have been paving the way for so long that now when it is up to them, they don't have the skills and experience to face it and they fold. 5. You can complain all you want, but that isn't changing it. This is the reality. Is it fair? Should it be this way? Probably not, but its the way it is. So when all your whining and complaining is done, your son still has to go out and face it and he is doing it without any experience or tools to handle it. How about you expend that energy working with your son to get through it and handle the adversity and prepare them for it because he WILL face it in the future.
I have heard this year in and year out and the only thing that changes is there are more people to have the same conversation with.
Dear LT,
No matter how you try to justify it and rationalize it, and twist and turn into saying it is ok, you condone unfair play. If you really are a coach, you know this holdback situation benefits the few and puts others at injury risk and give them an unfair advantage. Do not accuse anyone of whining when you are too weak to even take a stand on something so obviously wrong. You are part of the problem.
Please show me where I have said it is ok? I haven't. I am also not justifying it. What I am doing is showing you that this is the reality. You are complaining about the following:
"unfair play" - It's called sports, everything about it is unfair. You put your best against my best and see what the outcome is. Everything about this is unfair by design, it's why we keep score. When was the last time you won a game and said it was unfair? you're smaller than them, find a solution to overcome it. Do you complain it's unfair when another team runs a scheme you've never see before? Or that your FO guy is winning 80% - that's unfair too.
"unfair advantage" - put your big boy pants on, some teams are going to have bigger, better and sometimes older players. Yes, it's unfair - there is a score, everything about sports and competition is unfair. There are winners and there are losers.
"puts others at injury risk" - This is a contact sport, you are at a risk of injury every time you step on the field. heck,you can hurt yourself getting out of bed in the morning. If you are THAT worried about injury, stay off the field.
EVERYTHING you are arguing just solidifies what I said previously. This is the same type of position that says, "well, we wold have won, but out best player was injured/our goalie had a bad game/the FO guy broke up with his girlfriend last night/Seniors had prom last night/the refs stink
The entirety of my point was that you can make excuses and cry that it exists, or you can deal with what the reality is and overcome the adversity. What is your son learning when he hears nothing but whining from the adults in the room about how everything is unfair when you lose, but when you beat those same teams it suddenly not an issue? They're sure as heck not learning how to deal with adversity, overcoming failure and finding ways to win when the chips are stacked against you.
