Originally Posted by Anonymous
This is where the issue is with everyone complaining about playing against other teams that aren't on age. I'm coming from the perspective of a travel and HS coach with multiple years of experience. My kids are young and just starting to play, so to head off the obvious retort: no, not a parent of a holdback player.

1. you can complain about it all you want, but your son is hearing it. So all they are learning that it is something out of their control and not their fault so when they lose or can't beat a better, older player it's because the system is rigged, not because they need to put more work in to get better.
2. Those kids then get to high school and SHOCKER they are now playing against kids 3-5 years age difference - which will be true for the rest of their playing days.
3. almost universally, every parent that sees their special little boy score 100 goals a year in youth an club ball suddenly can't break the lineup on JV and god-forbid they aren't on the varsity team freshman year because they can't beat out kids who are 3-5 years older than them. The conversation EVERY TIME: Well my son is a starter on his club team and he's done this and this, and his club coach tells us how great he is. That's all great, but in practice, he can't get past my 6th defenseman and has no off-hand and every time he tries to run through the entire defense he gets put on his butt and the ball's going the other way.
4. those same kids can't handle the adversity because they've never had to face it before. Mommy and Daddy have been paving the way for so long that now when it is up to them, they don't have the skills and experience to face it and they fold.
5. You can complain all you want, but that isn't changing it. This is the reality. Is it fair? Should it be this way? Probably not, but its the way it is. So when all your whining and complaining is done, your son still has to go out and face it and he is doing it without any experience or tools to handle it. How about you expend that energy working with your son to get through it and handle the adversity and prepare them for it because he WILL face it in the future.

I have heard this year in and year out and the only thing that changes is there are more people to have the same conversation with.

GREAT post! And no my kids are not holdbacks.