My advice having gone through this, if your child is in 7-8 grade and has a list of 30 or so schools he's "interested in" begin to look at the schools, let the coach know he is interested, contact admissions about the qualifying grades and SAT's and the money it will cost. If all of that is reasonable to the family then continue to keep in touch with the coach via email. (use to be coaches would keep in touch but now it has to be the athlete) so if you are in the 8th grade and the coach is at a tournament that your team is playing in he will most definitely stop by and take a look. If you look like a fit player wise he will put you on his prospect list. He will then continue to follow your progression and he will be able to gauge your interest in his school and will invite you to prospect days. The coaches can still track a player they just cant initiate contact. they can still talk to the players at tournaments they just cant recruit them. Coaches will still be tracking 8 graders don't kid yourself.
They can also talk to your club coaches.