The games were so exciting Saturday. I Shaaaarted myself and sure enough it was a wet one. I had to run into the woods and use an old Kleenex in my pocket to wipe myself. Moments later I shook hands with one of the Blastard dads on the sideline, the chubby one, and that made me so happy to do that even after the loss! Brown suga people! Brown suga!
Don't worry, everyone uses disinfectant wipes after they meet you anyway. I hear even your wife and kids. I love that you couldn't possibly have wiped well enough to not need to change your drawers yet you stood around in them smelling up the place. Your smell probably covered up for your boys crappy play.
And I don't even know what to say about how you wife has grown accustomed to the skid marks she has to deal with from you. Whew!
