Coaches are allowed to check any rosters at anytime. If a player has a late 2003 birthdate and is in 6th grade it does not mean they are holdbacks.. Im pretty sure their parents didn't know at 4 yrs old when making school decisions the kid would even like lacrosse or any other sport they tried.
late 2004 parents who think their kids are at a disadvantage against 2003 kids might want to stay in the REC leagues. If you don't want your child to be pushed and compete against the best kids in his GRADE(club ball).
Mid birthdays are no different, either your kid is good enough to play against kids a few months older or younger or not.
Some teams that play each other every year know the personnel of he rosters. Most of the really good and even bigger stronger kids are late to mid days.
Not disputing what you are saying but that thought process can go the other way....maybe the "older" 6th grader should be the one playing REC if he isn't good enough to play with kids on his age. I posted earlier that my son was born premie in the summer and is in the 4th grade. He started with his club when it was u9 and moved up and is now on a 2023 team even though he is in 4th grade
Also, don't be so sure parents aren't making decisions at 4 years old? You would be surprised ESPECIALLY if they have older kids who are experiencing this now. I have seen and heard it with my own 2 eyes and ears from parents on my son's teams who have younger ones