US Lacrosse Community Forum Forums NORTHEAST LACROSSE BOTC MAIN FORUM (LI, CT, WC) Early Recruiting

I have a problem. I like donuts. I eat a lot of donuts. There's a donut shop on the way to work and I just can't stop steering in to crush a half dozen in the morning and another half dozen on my way home. My wife sends me out on weekends to get some for the kids and I always get two boxes by the dozen and demolish one of them like a meth addict in the car, then throw away the box. I work out 3 hours a day but I'm still 135 pounds overweight.

I am asking all of YOU to help ME end this thing that is spinning out of control. Other dads see me get excited talking about donuts, and they just can't help themselves either. It has viraled out and now its getting harder and harder to get the Boston Cremes before they are wiped out at all the shops in my county. Just last week I found myself at the Krispy Kreme at 4am after telling my wife I was taking the dog for an early walk waiting for that light to go on. There were four other dads there with their dogs in the backseats too and we all tried to just look down at our smart phones feigning the embarrassment over being seen like this. It's just embarrassing for a grown man to be sitting outside a Krispy Kreme at 4am waiting for Boston Cremes, but the thing to understand is getting Krispy Kremes is a competitive thing now. Not getting those Boston Kremes is a risk. And they are delicious.

Last night I took the taking the dog for a walk thing all the way in to 2:45am. I was in the clear waiting alone at another Krispy Kreme 7 exits up the I-270 waiting for the light. The police came and asked a few questions. They'd gotten a call about the profile of a dealer in a empty lot on a Friday night. Fairly quickly the situation was diffused when they saw I was a white, bald 350 pound middle age man wearing pajamas with a golden lab named Leroy in the back seat. This is Maryland, and trust me, it's good to be white and bald with a golden lab named Leroy.

This was a night of reckoning. I can't help myself. I do like to talk about helping myself. I like to do tha a lot, and so do the other local donut addicts who joined this early donut hunting war with me. I decided to put the responsibility on you. I mean 'you' as in everyone else but me. I have a petition to ban donuts to send to the FDA. I've also decided to start a GoFundMe page to raise money to build early donut procurement awareness. This isn't really just my problem. It's your problem too. And it's all your fault too. So sign my petition and support the GoFundMe website. I promise I won't continue or use any of those GoFundMe proceeds to buy donuts. Aside from that, there is little I can do about pre-dawn donut runs. I mean, everyone else is doing it. People just don't understand how good donuts are as what is at stake here.