Originally Posted by Anonymous
A friend told me about this site and it really is like driving by a car wreck. You just can’t help but keep looking. And here I am now writing something just so I feel heard. There are people here (and they all sound like parents) bitching and sniping about youth lacrosse. Really kind of pathetic that people feel the need to complain about how unfair the system is for a 2024 team. That’s 4th grade right? Man, that’s rough when you are convinced that your 4th grader’s future is determined by what summer team he plays on and even sadder if, as a parent, you believe they have failed if they don’t make the AA team in a particular program.

Here's a fact. Lacrosse has changed dramatically and so much of the fun has been sucked out of it. Your kids don’t just go out and play anymore for the sake of playing. They go out and pound the wall at your behest to get better for the next tryout so they can make the next team because you, the parents, have convinced yourselves that lacrosse equals success. That is success not only for your child but in some warped way you view it as success for yourself, that it somehow elevates your status in the community and reflects your achievements. Guess what? It doesn’t. If you went to a crap college or no college and feel like you didn’t reach your full potential the fact that your son is the leading goal scorer for the 2022 Black team isn’t going to change that one bit. And if you were a HS All-American that played at Virginia, got a great wall street job and make lots of money? Good for you, congrats. The fact that your son is on the 2018 B team and doesn’t have shot at playing in college doesn’t make him a failure because he didn’t walk in your shoes. It just makes you a [lacrosse] for holding him to that standard.

Here’s what is true:

1. There is no pot of scholarship gold at the end of the rainbow. We’ve all heard it but no one wants to believe it. Everyone hangs on to the belief that it may be different for their kid. If you were too busy spending money on summer teams and clinics hoping to develop that next superstar and didn’t save a dime for college that just makes you stupid. Welcome to Nassau CC.

2. Unless your kid is a really really good student in addition to being a stud athlete, they are not getting into Princeton. Could your star athlete really not get into Mount St. Mary’s without lacrosse? That’s really not a very high bar to get over. Here’s a novel idea, spend just half as much time riding them to do well in school as you do working on their weak hand and you may be surprised about the opportunities that open up without a lacrosse stick.

3. Playing lacrosse in college is cool but be careful what you ask for. I’ve lost count of the college players that graduate and are completely incapable of surviving in the real world as their peers go out and get real jobs. All those hours of hard work playing on a team sounds like a great platform for future success, right? Wrong. You missed out on all of the other activities that help you form and develop life skills. A ridiculous number of players are years out of college scraping by coaching clinics, camps and, no surprise, summer teams.

4. These summer teams are businesses. And just like your workplace politics are involved. It may be true that Johnny didn’t make the team because a weaker player’s cousin plays for Duke and the coaches want that kid just to say “his older cousin plays for Duke” and for some bizarre reason hope that the kid gets better because it’s in his genes. Welcome to real life. It’s not going to define your son whether he’s 9 or 18.

5. If you are that good of a player. You will be found.

I’m sure I’m opening myself up to comments like, “his kid must suck” and things of that nature so I will tell you that my kid is slightly above average, plays on an average team and loves to play despite the pressures of the current environment. But he does recognize the pressure and despite his mental toughness sometimes resents the atmosphere for what is only a game. Early signs of burn out. He’s only 12.


Bravo. Sometimes I wish I didn't find this site. And as someone else mentioned, the people who this does apply to, won't realize it. "he must be talking about someone else"